


The Way To A Man's Heart

by Sociallyawkwardwriter



Category: Eurovision Song Contest RPF, Festival di Sanremo RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Chefs, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Food Trucks, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2019-11-04 12:04:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17898113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sociallyawkwardwriter/pseuds/Sociallyawkwardwriter
Summary: Ermal is a stressed chef at one of the big restaurants in Rome. Things happen and he gets suspended from work for a whole month. What better way to spend the month in a tiny food truck with a guy he barely knows, but who has obviously a knick for spices. And for confusing Ermal in all the best ways.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you Julia, for letting me use your prompt, you're amazing!!!

Ermal was sweating. The heat from the oven almost felt like a hit against his face as he stood there, leaning over the kitchen counter. With cautious movements, he gently took the spoon from his, yes, his saucepan and delicately let the sauce drop from the spoon onto the plate, making a decorative pattern.

“Oi, are you finally done?” The plate got pulled away from under his hands, the last drop landing on the counter, going to waste. Ermal clenched his teeth and looked up, his eyes finding those of their sous chef who smirked at him while finishing the plates with practiced movements.

“Can’t take that long, sauce boy. We got a schedule to keep!” The clink echoed loud in Ermal’s ears as the plates were set in position to get picked up by the waiters. With disdain, he noticed the smeared sauce on one of them, but he couldn’t say anything, the next one already waiting for his skilled hands. Out of the corner of his eyes, he could see the sous chef whisper to their pastry chef, shooting looks at Ermal ever so often. Bastards, he thought to himself. If he wouldn’t love his work so much, he would have quit a long time ago. He sighed as he noticed that he had accidentally smeared the sauce on the current plate. Quickly he wiped it clean, feeling the eyes of his colleagues on him.

He bit his lip, trying to go on with shaking hands. This was all worth it, he forced himself to think. This had all better be worth it.

The noise of the rattling keys was loud in the hallway of his apartment complex before the door swung open and closed again behind him. Only then did Ermal’s shoulder relax, feeling like he could breathe again without the cloying smell of fat and all different kinds of roasts in the air. A glance at the clock told him it was already half past eleven, but he still started humming as he waited for the water to boil. He skilfully cut some onions, garlic and tomatoes, the delicious smell of his special pasta sauce soon filling the air. He added the pasta to the water, watching it glide into the pot while his sauce was simmering and his mouth was watering. He closed his eyes, deeply inhaling the scents of the spices and the herbs, a small smile appearing on his face.

This was why he had decided to become a cook, even if in the beginning his attempts were disastrous. But he loved experimenting with the different ingredients and Ermal wasn’t one to give up lightly. His unique taste and quick thinking had made him popular with the head chef and the guests but his cheekiness had always been a thorn in the eyes of his colleagues, especially Daniele, their sous-chef. He had always managed to find something in Ermal’s work to criticize, to make fun of. It was just their head chef pleading for him to stay that convinced Ermal not to quit.

Don’t get him wrong, he loved his work, he truly did, even with everything that was going on. But sometimes, there was just the feeling that something was missing. That he was doing the right thing at the right time… but not in the right place. The shrill ringing of the timer chased away those dark thoughts, making Ermal forget about them as he prepared his dinner and ate, only to return later that night, troubling his thoughts while he tried to fall asleep and only granting him peace when it was much too late, the sky already lightening again as Ermal’s eyes finally closed.

The next day was utter chaos in the kitchen, people shouting and curses were thrown across the room every few seconds. Business as usual so to speak.

Ermal was shaking, the adrenaline pumping through his veins making him forget his lack of sleep, it was a heady rush he wouldn’t want to trade for anything else.

He was concentrating on garnishing one of the dishes, his pot in hand when it happened.

Someone bumped into him, quite forcefully, the sauce spilling over the edge of the pot, completely ruining the dish that was supposed to be perfect.

Incredulously, Ermal turned around, watching as one of the pastry chefs sauntered away, an ugly grin on his face.

“Geez, Meta. Can’t you be more careful? The stress getting to you?”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

“Watch your language, soup boy.” Ermal glared at Daniele, who looked way too smug for his taste. Bastard. 

“Look at how useless you are, ruining everything, only when it gets a bit busier than usual. You do realize, you’re simply here because, for some unknown reason, the boss likes you, right?” He took a step closer to Ermal, threateningly. “But I’m gonna tell you the truth now. Someone like you has no place in a restaurant like this.”

Ermal gritted his teeth, staring at the white tiled floor in front of him, trying to keep control of his emotions. He wouldn’t let them win. He couldn’t.

“Don’t you think you’re being a bit unfair to him?”

One of the other cooks butted in, glaring at Daniele. Ermal appreciated the sentiment, but he wasn’t a fucking damsel in distress.

 “Shut up, Matt!” Julio, one of the pastry chefs, barked at him, his face torn into a grimace. 

“If he can’t handle the stress, he can’t fucking handle it. Daniele is right, we don’t need someone like him here.”

The sous chef took a step forward, crowding Ermal in, but he was still taller than the other man, so Daniele had to look up, standing now right in front of him.

“I mean, just look at him. That ridiculous hair. And what the fuck is that piercing?”

He raised his hand, but Ermal was quicker, one of his hands grabbing the wrist, the other twisting in the fabric of Daniele’s apron.

“You little – “

 “What’s going on here?”

Ermal’s chest was heaving as he stared at Daniele with anger in his eyes, his hand still grabbing the lapel of his white jacket.

He heard their head chef sigh behind him.

“Meta, come with me.”

The older man was silent as Ermal followed him into the room, his hands still tensed into fists. Ermal had always respected Antonello as someone with great talent and great character, but right at this moment, he only felt anger. The head chef sat down in one of the chairs, motioning for Ermal to do the same.

“You do realize I can’t tolerate behavior like this, right?” Ermal nodded with his teeth clenched. “I know, but – “ Antonello interrupted him with a raised hand. “I know, I know. It wasn’t only your fault.” He frowned then, shuffling uncomfortably on the chair.

“But, Ermal. You know that you are mostly here because of my recommendation, right?” Ermal gritted his teeth, he didn’t need that reminder. “And you just joined the team. But Daniele… he’s been with me for many years. And I know his faults, his temper most certainly one of them. But I also know that he is a great cook and sous chef, despite what you might think. Our team stands behind him and on the other hand, he would do anything for them.” Ermal gulped, his fists starting to tremble.

“What exactly are you trying to say? Are you firing me?” “What? No, God, Ermal, no. Let’s not go so far. I just think that it might be best if you two would… not see each other for a little while.” Ermal frowned, not really understanding what the chef was trying to say, but he tried to take a deep breath, tried to calm down.

“You still have most of your vacation from last year, right?” Ermal nodded, he had only taken some days off over the end of the year, that was how busy they usually were. “Okay, great. I think you could use a month to relax right now.”

Ermal stared at him, unbelieving. “A month?” “Yes, just give me a few days to look for a replacement for you during that period.”

“You won’t find anyone who’s as good as me!” The words left Ermal’s mouth before he knew it, the tension having him on the edge of his seat. Antonello looked at him with a reluctant smile. “I know. But it’s only for a month.” Ermal slumped back into his chair, defeated.

“And what am I supposed to do for a whole month?” The chef shrugged unhelpfully. “Relax. Destress. Go outside. Just, I don’t know, maybe find something to be passionate about.” He stood up to go but stopped when he passed Ermal, resting a warm hand on his shoulder. “I like you, Ermal, I truly do. I wish you’d find something before this job eats you up.”

Then he left, leaving Ermal behind in that tiny room, staring after him, his mind going a mile a minute.

Shit. What was he going to do for a whole month?

It’s been a few days since then, a few days of Ermal lounging around the house, doing things that had needed to be done a while ago, sleeping and, most of all, doing nothing. But soon he felt caged in, his mind not letting him have the peace that he so desperately wanted.

He had almost started cooking just for the sake of it, even though he had promised Antonello that he would only cook when it was actually necessary.

The weather had been nice for the past week, finally, the spring had seemed to arrive, so Ermal decided to take a stroll, leaving the narrow walls of his apartment that were confining him.

He wandered through the streets of Rome without purpose, not really knowing what to do, how to spend all his time with one of the other cooks breathing down his neck. He tried just enjoying the weather, enjoying life, but somehow this didn’t seem to go all that well for him.

He took a deep breath of the moderately fresh air of the city when he noticed it. This… smell. He sniffed once, twice and then his eyes opened wide as all kinds of aromas swirled through his nostrils. Savory bacon, juicy tomatoes and the unmistakable smell of rosemary.

His nose led him to one of those recently popular food trucks, people already lining up in front of it and almost without conscious thought, Ermal joined them. He wasn’t even sure yet what they were serving, but something that smelled this good couldn’t be all bad. He twisted and turned, trying to get a glimpse of the product, but all he saw was the head of the cashier and a broad back, clad in black fabric and tattooed arms. Finally, it was almost his turn, the retro menu cardboard with the dishes written on it in chalk telling him what it was they were offering.

Pasta.

Ermal tried really hard not to roll his eyes and failed. Of all things, they were selling pasta in Rome. How… unoriginal. There weren’t even any adventurous combinations on offer, just the average like Carbonara, Pesto and, of course, Cacio e Pepe. Ermal cursed himself and his nose, but then suddenly it was his turn and the young girl at the cashier looked at him expectantly and it would have been quite rude to leave now.

Or maybe he was just really, really hungry and it might have been a while since he had gotten some simple pasta.

But now he hadn’t decided on what to get, too busy contemplating the clichéd menu, the people behind him already starting to complain. The girl finally had pity with him, showing him her bright smile.

“The Cacio e Pepe is our most popular dish, the sauce is a special creation by our chef.” Sauce, he almost scoffed. What sauce. But instead, he just smiled at her charmingly, mentally showing the middle finger to the rude guy behind, who seemingly was way too busy to just wait one more minute. “I’ll take that then.” He gave her the money, pleasantly surprised by the fair prices. He glanced at the kitchen and from afar, the vegetables and other ingredients all seemed to be fresh and from good quality. Maybe he had judged them too fast.

He didn’t need to wait too long before a rough voice called out. “One Cacio e Pepe?” “Yes, here.” And then the tattooed arms he had only seen from afar earlier appeared again, handing him his pasta in a paper cup with equally tattooed hands. Ermal impatiently grabbed for the cup – okay, so maybe he was starving, don’t judge him –  and mumbled a thanks, not sparing the chef another glance.

He walked a bit before he sat down in the shade of a tree, the food truck with its customers still in his sight.  His stomach growled, he couldn’t wait and the pasta really smelled delicious. Almost without thinking, his mind on that update about his temporary replacement one of the cooks had sent him earlier, he took the first bite and couldn’t hold back the satisfied sound that escaped him. It took all his self-control to behave like a proper person and not shovel everything into his mouth at once. He took deliberately small bites from his meal, but he couldn’t avoid his blissful face. The chef had managed to make this plain, everyday meal into something special and unique, there was something about the sauce that made the individual ingredients stand out and the fresh pasta was almost heavenly.

Ermal was so focused on the food, he didn’t even notice as the park started to get less crowded, people were no longer lining up in front of the truck as the lunch rush came to an end. He also didn’t hear the steps coming closer to him, or the clicking sound of the lighter.

He only twitched as a rough voice came from right behind him. “Seems like you like it?” “Huh?” “The pasta. Seems like you enjoy it.” The man took a drag from his cigarette and that was when Ermal noticed his tattoos and oh, he had seen those before, the letters spelling out Pace on the one, the sun on the other hand. The cook from the food truck!

Ermal swallowed the rest of the food in his mouth, while nodding, looking at the other man curiously. “Yeah, it’s really good! What did you use? It tastes different.” But the man only stared at him for a few moments longer, before putting his cigarette out and putting his things back into his pockets. “It’s readymade”, he said in a toneless voice, before turning to leave, not sparing Ermal another glance.

“What? Wait, I don’t believe that!” But the cook wasn’t listening to him, his long legs taking him over the small space quickly, quicker than Ermal was able to stand up. He could only watch as the door of the truck closed behind the other man and shortly after, his silhouette appeared in the darkness of the back of the vehicle again.

How weird, Ermal thought. He was about to continue eating but had to realize to his great distress that there was nothing left. Sadly, he scraped the last bit of cheese from the walls of his cup, his eyes still focused on the truck. Pfft, readymade. As if.

But he wouldn’t be so easily deterred. He watched as the man got back to work, his muscles flexing under the loose shirt. No, Ermal decided. He would find out what his secret was. And if he had to come back here every single day of the week, so be it. 

* * *

 

Fabrizio could almost feel the gaze on his back, even though he tried very hard to ignore it. He could feel his cheeks heating up and he hated that he felt like that, cursed his weakness for a pretty face and a nice smile.

“He’s cute”, Lisa said as she stood leaning against the counter, her phone in her hand. Fabri sometimes wondered why he even paid her so much money.

“Who?”, he asked, even though he knew very well who she was talking about. He could almost see her rolling her eyes at him. “Santa Claus”, she scoffed. “That guy who just orgasmed all over your pasta, who else.” The heat on his cheeks was increasing.

“There are a lot of people who like my sauce.” He groaned at himself for leaving that opening, but Lisa only giggled shortly. “But not that much. Not like him. I mean,” She shuffled a bit, turning to watch the guy still sitting on that patch of grass, now a thin book in his hands.

“He looked like he _really_ enjoyed your pasta. The ‘if you proposed to him now he would marry you’-kinda like.” “Lisa!” Fabri groaned, still refusing to turn around, but completely failing to concentrate on cutting those onions in front of him.

“Look, I’m just saying. I mean, even you can’t deny that he is good-looking, you even went there and – “ Suddenly she turned silent. Fabri bit his lip, feeling her piercing gaze on him. “Did you mess up again?” He sighed. “I didn’t” “But you were rude?” He ignored her, his knife slicing easily through the onions now, the repeated movements making him calm down a bit, reigning his anger in. The anger at himself. The sound of the knife hitting the cutting board made it easier for him to concentrate, his speed increasing. Increasing, until one of the onions slipped a bit out of his grip. The knife hit the board with a dull thud and Fabri just stared at it for a moment, stared at the thin red line that appeared on the skin of his thumb. He closed his eyes, trying to blend out his emotions, but he could feel the rage boiling up again and there was nothing more he would have liked to do but throw everything in his reach out of this godforsaken truck.

The door fell silently shut behind Lisa as she left, probably having a smoke or something. She knew that she would be hopeless against his mood right now. Fabri tried to take a deep breath, completely concentrating on all the good things in his life. His kids and siblings. His friends. This truck and Lisa. The list was short, but it was enough. It had to be.

He continued to work in silence, cutting more onions than was strictly necessary, but hey, no one complained about there being too many onions in his tomato sauce. Suddenly his phone vibrated, he angrily wiped his face before pushing the button to see who had contacted him.

His frown immediately turned into a soft smile, even if he hadn’t seen the photo just yet but the title alone had managed to clear his thoughts. When he opened the message, the sweetest smile awaited him on the most precious face. He gave a quick reply and after looking at the pic for one more minute, he closed the phone again, returning to his work with his own smile gracing his features.

His breath came easier as he finished cutting that last onion and started with preparing the sauce for the next day, his special tomato sauce always tasted better when it had had time to set. Now that everything was already cut, he finished quickly and leaned against the counter with a deep sigh, watching the sauce carefully as it heated up.

A few months ago, he would have used the time to maybe experiment, trying new herbs and spices or maybe add another vegetable to see if he could create something new, something delicious. But ever since… that happened, he couldn’t find it in himself to care.

He didn’t react as he heard the door opening, the truck rocking slightly as Lisa entered again, a cloud of stale smoke surrounding her. She didn’t say anything at first, simply pulling out the containers they would need for the dinner people, preparing everything to lessen their workload during the rush, even though it wouldn’t be as busy as during lunch.

Without another word, Fabri started helping her, his hands skillfully kneading the fresh dough for their pasta. Like this, they worked silently side by side for a while, until Lisa apparently couldn’t stay quiet anymore.

“What happened anyway?” Fabri stopped in his movements for a moment before starting again, his kneading maybe getting a little bit rougher. “He asked for the recipe.”

“Oh.”

He didn’t need to say more, their words falling silent again, only the sounds of their work filling the void of the trailer.

After a while, Lisa cleared her throat, determinedly not looking at Fabri as she spoke again. “Not everyone is like Matteo, Fabri.” He gulped, stilling his movements.

“I know.”

“No, you don’t.”

He shot her another look from the corner of his eyes but didn’t say anything else, the first customers of the evening crowd starting to dribble in, stopping every sort of discussion in that direction. Fabri couldn’t even pretend to be sad about that.

* * *

 

The next day, Ermal found himself back at the same park, at the same time. He listlessly walked through some areas even though he knew he had only one goal. Finally, the food truck came into sight and again, people were queuing up in front of it. And again, he joined them, feeling his stomach swoop for some reason he didn’t quite understand. He understood it even less when that feeling turned sour when instead of tattooed arms, he only saw naked skin and a round face smiling gently at him as the man who certainly wasn’t the cook from yesterday, handed him his pasta.

And he knew that this would be his chance, to maybe get the secret from this other man, not from the gruff guy yesterday, but he somehow hesitated, biting his lip and then the other man vanished again in the back of the truck. So Ermal went back to the same spot under the tree as yesterday and watched the people, silently eating his pasta. He chose the one with tomato sauce this time, and even though there might a bit too many onions in it for his own taste, it still was very good. Someone in that truck had a very good eye for spices and he couldn’t shake the feeling that he knew who it was. And he wasn’t there today.

He tried again the day after and then the day after that, but the cook from the first day didn’t show up again. However, the cashier was always the same and the fourth time he was visiting their truck, the rush had already died down, no people cueing impatiently behind him, so she took her time, involving him in some small talk. How did he like their pasta, why did he come here so often, was he living close by?

He kept his answers short, but he knew very well that now he had another chance to ask for their recipe, maybe the cashier wouldn’t be as emotionally attached to it like the cook. He knew that his chances were better with her. And yet, again, he didn’t ask.

What he did ask, though, was where the other cook had been.

The girl looked at him in surprise, probably just as surprised as Ermal felt and maybe a bit of apprehension. “He usually works another shift”, she answered him shortly. “Why?” Ermal shook his head taking his pasta the cook handed him with a tense smile. How was he supposed to reply when he himself didn’t know the answer?

He turned away, leaving the truck and the park behind him and instead sat down on a bench close by, but far enough that his eyes could no longer stray to the small vehicle.

Ermal started to avoid the truck and the park after that, but he was still intrigued. How many other good places like this one were out there, hiding in plain sight?

So he did a little digging on the internet, hopped from one place to the next. And don’t get him wrong, they were all good (well, most of them. Some at least.) but not one of them made such a big impact on him like the first.

That’s why after two days of running through Rome’s streets, he found himself back at the park, back for some good, even if a little bit old-fashioned pasta. He took his place in the queue, fishing his phone out of his nice leather jacket and checked his messages. Not like he needed to look at the menu anyway. Shit, still no notice from the restaurant. No SOS sign, no call for him to come back immediately. Ermal gritted his teeth. Well, they seemed to be fine without him. _Good_.

A by now familiar voice pulled him back out of his dark thoughts. “Oh, you’re back again.”

Ermal looked up, in the young face of the cashier, surprised that it was already his turn. “Yeah”, he mumbled, somehow embarrassed.

“The Carbonara, please.” But the young woman didn’t move, didn’t ring up his order as usual. She just looked at him for a moment, before a wide smile split her face, something dangerous flickering in her eyes.

“If I may suggest something, the Cacio e Pepe is really good today.” He blinked up at her, before shrugging. He just wanted some pasta, what kind wasn’t even that important. He turned back to his phone again while waiting, trying to ignore the rumbling of his stomach.

“One Cacio e Pepe?”

Ermal’s stomach lurched but not because of his hunger or the delicious smell wafting over to him. Tattooed hands were holding the cup out towards him and he couldn’t suppress the smile on his face.

“You’re back!” “Huh?” “I mean… I’m sorry, it’s just that I didn’t see you again after the first time. I was told you worked another shift.” The chef shrugged, turning away from him, already focused on preparing the next meal. “Well, it is my business after all. I go where I am most needed.”

Ermal hummed, making space for the person after him, but he didn’t leave to sit in the shade as usual. When the cook turned around again with a new cup in his hand, he violently twitched, almost spilling the pasta.

“What are you still doing here?”

Ermal blinked at him with innocent eyes, or as innocent as he could manage, demonstratively holding his food up.

“I’m eating.”

The chef took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a second.

“Please, Sir. You’re being a hindrance to other customers.” “No, I’m not! Look, I’m standing to the side!” “We especially prepared some seating arrangements over there, you can go ahead and eat at the tables.” “But I don’t want to.”

“I – “

“Fabri!” His name made the cook look up at the cashier as she waved impatiently with a note towards him.

“No time to flirt, one Carbonara and hurry up!”

The cook was grumbling something under his breath as he turned towards his cooking area again, starting to prepare the dish with certain movements. Ermal straightened his back, watching as those inked hands grabbed bacon and eggs, the fresh pasta already placed in a pot with hot water at the same time. The man, Fabri apparently, was quick, almost as quick as the cooks at Ermal’s workplace.

But then he added something that made Ermal curious.

“Garlic?” He could see the shoulders twitch, the man, Fabri, he reminded himself, turning around to shoot him a dark look.

“Why are you still standing there?”

“Why did you just put a whole garlic clove in the pan?”

Ermal could see his teeth clench before Fabri ignored him again, concentrating on the pan in front of him. Ermal couldn’t really see anything then, the man standing so that his broad back hid the stove, so he was getting bored soon and started to eat instead.

He couldn’t help the moan that escaped him, the taste of pepper and cheese exploding on his tongue, but there was something else, something that really made those flavours pop, but he still couldn’t figure out what it was.

He opened his eyes again, unexpectantly meeting Fabri’s, who quickly turned around again, but not quick enough that Ermal didn’t see the gentle red hue on his cheeks.

Huh. He hadn’t expected the older man to be so cute.

The Carbonara was then handed over to the waiting customer, Ermal shooting some dubious glances towards the food.

“I don’t suppose the garlic is still in there?”

The older man regarded him with a skeptical look while Ermal was still shoveling pasta into his mouth, but he got the feeling as if it was less hostile than before.

“You really like our Cacio e Pepe, huh?” Ermal moaned again as if to underline his statement. “Honestly, it’s soooo good!” The older man chuckled before he bit his lip, avoiding his eyes again.

“…of course, I took it out.” “Excuse me?” “The garlic. I only use it when I fry the bacon. That way the flavor is not overwhelming the other ingredients, but still enough to give the sauce more taste.”

Ermal slowly nodded, looking at the man carefully as he busied his hands with cleaning up the spotless counter. He knew that something was happening at this moment, something important, but he couldn’t really tell what.

“Nice touch.”

A hesitant, or dare he say shy, smile flickered over the older man’s face and Ermal had to remind himself that the guy was probably straight and taken or otherwise he would have done something that he might have regretted.

He distracted himself with another bite of the pasta, scraping together the last bits that had stuck to the bottom with a mournful expression.

“Aww, it’s gone.”

“Good. That means you can leave now.”

Ermal’s heart stopped for a moment, the doubt creeping back into his mind. Had he really bothered the other man so much? But when he glanced up, there was a playful glint in Fabri’s eyes and Ermal could breathe again.

Still, he shot a quick glance at his watch. Out of all days, he had promised Marco to meet up with him today and he would have to leave soon if he didn’t want to be nagged at for the first half an hour, so this was actually perfect timing.

“Yeah you’re right, I need to go. See you tomorrow.”

And Ermal knew he was already in too deep when he imagined that the first reaction on the other’s face was disappointment that soon made way for suspicion.

“What do you mean ‘see you tomorrow’?”

“You’re not gonna be back here tomorrow?”

“Well, yeah, but – “

“Then I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Fabri sighed, but Ermal could still see the amusement in his eyes, a hand coming up to mess up his already messy hair further.

“You’re gonna get fat if you eat our pasta every day, you know.”

Ermal shrugged, a gleeful smile on his lips.

“I mean, I’m young and good-looking, you need to have at least one advantage over me, right?”

 “Do you know what we call people like you here? Assholes”, Fabrizio muttered, but Ermal could see the corner of his mouth trying to pull upwards. He laughed out loud, throwing his head back before turning around and giving a short wave as a greeting. Fabri was shaking his head, the cashier looking down at her phone completely disinterested in their exchange.

He couldn’t wait until tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is only one question on Fabrizio's mind, will the strange man actually come back?

Fabrizio groaned as his alarm shrilled, his limbs heavy as he reluctantly crawled out of bed.  He blinked irritated at the clock, wondering for a few seconds why it was still so early before reality set in again. Right. He had to open the truck today. It wasn’t something that he particularly enjoyed doing and seeing as he was the boss, he usually got someone else to do it for him. But not today.

With a sigh, he finally heaved himself up and got ready, his hair still drying as he slowly walked through the streets of Rome, trying to enjoy the gentle rays of sunshine on his skin. Weird, how the sun suddenly made him think of dark curls and a bright smile.

He shook his head trying to clear his thoughts, when his eyes fell on a small bakery, hidden in one of the corners that connected the tiny side roads with the main street. He knew that he’d never been inside before, never passing the shop at the right time of day, only admiring the sweets from the outside. He stopped right outside the door, hesitating for a few seconds. Then the door opened, a customer leaving the bakery and with them a delicious smell that made Fabrizio’s stomach grumble.

As if led by his instincts, he stepped inside before the door could shut again, approaching towards the counter, where a young woman greeted him, her dark hair pulled back in a ponytail.

“Hello Sir, what can I get for you?”

“Uhm – “

“The chocolate croissants are very fresh, straight out of the oven.”

Fabrizio nodded, still looking at the display in front of him, but already gesturing towards her.

“I’ll take two of those then.”      

His gaze stopped on one of their loaves of bread, reading the description on the little plate next to it.

“And one of these, please.”

“Certainly. Our herbal bread is very popular, I’m sure you’ll like it.”

He handed the money over and thanked her, the baked goods warm against his hand, even through the thin layer of paper.

His thoughts were still on his purchase as the truck already came into his line of sight, and he absentmindedly fished for his keys. The trailer door swung open with its usual creak, the truck shaking as he stepped inside. He let the paper bag fall on the counter with a thud before stretching.

It was nice and quiet this morning, Lisa wasn’t even here yet and indeed, as Fabrizio glanced at his watch, her shift didn’t start for another hour. So that meant he could prepare everything without hurry.

But instead of starting the preparations, he leant against the counter and stared at their menu, contemplating. Maybe he should add something new. Earlier, he had bought the herbal bread just on a whim, but maybe he could really do something with it, try some new starters or something else. He bit his lip.

What would _he_ like?

With a jolt he stood up, burying his face in his hands. He shouldn’t think like this. Who knew if that guy would ever show up again. And even then, there really was no use in thinking up new recipes anyway. It wasn’t as if Fabrizio was trying to impress him, no, that totally didn’t matter to him. He was a professional.

He did not care either way.

So he pulled out the containers with the ingredients that needed to get chopped and started with the preparations, his knife hitting the chopping board in its monotonous melody, trying to chase the unwanted thoughts away.

Like this, the time went by fast and he was surprised as suddenly the door rattled behind him. The trailer rocked as Lisa entered, looking at Fabrizio with mirth in her eyes.

“Well, well, well. What a sight to come home to. Such a surprise to see you here in the morning.”

“You knew that I had to open up today” Fabrizio replied, the knife in his hand coming down to cut easily through some peppers.

“Oh, and by the way? It’s almost lunch.”

“Aww, come on, don’t be like this!”

“I’m your boss, it’s my job to be like this.”

Fabrizio really didn’t like that smug grin on her face.

“Right, and is it also your job to flirt with the customer that orgasm all over your pasta?”

He knew from experience that there was no real use in arguing with her, so he simply shook his head and motioned to the containers still standing unopened on the counter.

“I have no idea who you might be talking about. Now, let’s get a move on. I want to finish this before opening.”

Lisa didn’t reply, just arched her eyebrow at him, getting a knife and chopping board, and grabbed the container closest to her. They continued to work like this for a while until Fabrizio grabbed one of the containers that was suspiciously light.

“Are we out of tomatoes?” he asked, panic entering his voice. Lisa looked at him with huge eyes, shocked, her mouth gaping.

“You didn’t place an order with Andrea?”

“I did, but I forgot the tomatoes! Lisa, how could I forget the tomatoes?”

“Well then thank God I didn’t.”

Fabrizio stared at her, speechless, not really sure if he had heard her right, but the mischievous smile on her face reassured him.

“You called Andrea?”

“Yup, yesterday, after you were gone.”

Fabrizio sighed in relief, the tight grip he had had on the knife slowly loosening.

“So we only need to wait until Andrea delivers?” 

“Yes, and I’m sure he’ll be here soon. Don’t worry, Fabri. It’s gonna be fine.”

But then the smile vanished from her face, a worried frown marring her forehead instead.

“Fabri, you know these things can happen and it’s not a bother if they do. That’s what I’m here for. But don’t you think… wouldn’t it be better if you hired someone? Just for a few weeks, maybe.”

Fabrizio started to shake his head before she even finished speaking.

“No. First off, where am I even going to find someone, who would be willing to work for a measly pay for only a few weeks? I can deal, really, don’t worry about me.”

Lisa sighed, cocking her hip against the counter.

“But I do, Fabri. I do worry about you. You can’t work here the whole day!”

“You know I can and you know I did it before.”

“Yeah, but now you don’t have to anymore!”

Fabrizio bit his lip, it felt wrong that other people had to worry about him like this. But at the same time, he didn’t see a use in hiring someone extra for such a limited amount of time, they would be gone as soon as they had learned the basics.

“Okay, fine”, he finally said to placate her.

“I’ll look into it if I can’t find someone who might fit.”

He felt slightly guilty as he saw her posture relax, her shoulders slowly sinking and a soft smile appearing on her face.

“Good.”

Then she turned away, concentrating again on preparing the ingredients, leaving Fabrizio a bit sheepish and with a building sense of dread behind her.

He didn’t have time to dwell on it though, it was time to open the truck and start his day of serving the hungry people of Rome.

It didn’t take too long before they became busy again, the lunch crowd slowly starting to gather in the park, many of them enjoying the sun and the various delicacies the area had to offer.

That was why Fabrizio had chosen this area to begin with, even though the rivalry was tough, people who came here always appreciated the good food and were willing to pay a bit more than average for it. But he couldn’t stop himself from noticing that one person was missing today.

He tried not to let Lisa in on his inner turmoil, but her smirk made him think that he was not as good at it as he would have liked to be. He didn’t have much time to ponder about it though, handing out one cup of freshly made pasta after the other.

It was only after the crowd was thinning out that he realized that the guy still hadn’t shown up. Which was of course of no consequence at all to him and didn’t concern him in the slightest. Lisa had no business whatsoever to look at him with so much pity in her eyes. Work, he had work to do. People were waiting for their food.

He was just handing over the cup with pasta and tomato sauce to the young woman in front of the truck when his gaze finally fixed on a head of curly, dark hair and a face with a smile that made his heart jump.

“You really came back”, he said, surprise colouring his voice.

“Of course, I said I would, didn’t I? What, did you miss me?”

“Like hell I did”, Fabrizio grumbled but even to his own ears, it didn’t sound very convincing. The other man laughed, throwing his head back and against his will, Fabrizio’s eyes got drawn to the man’s neck, which really, all male statues in Rome would be jealous of.

“Not that I could stay away even if I wanted to, I need my daily dose of pasta.”

“Shit, does this mean you are going to come every day from now on?”

The man grinned at him from under his locks with a mischievous glint in his eyes, the fork resting on his lips as he waited for Fabrizio to prepare his dish.

“I could be convinced to do that.”

And Fabrizio hated himself for how his heart beat faster at the words, how his eyes strayed, how they focused on the spot where the fork pressed into those red lips and how fucking soft they looked.

The loss of weight in his hand made him gasp lowly, for a second, he thought he had lost the grip on the pasta, but the other man, and by now Fabrizio realized he really should ask for his name, had already impatiently grabbed for the food, not waiting for Fabrizio to hand the cup over.

Fabrizio watched on in astonishment as the other man shovelled the food into his mouth, practically inhaling it. He glanced to his left, but Lisa was already on her phone again, as there were no customers in line and maybe wouldn’t be for a while now.

“Is it the cheese?”

Surprised, Fabrizio returned his attention to the man, who looked at him with a pensive frown on his face, the serious expression ruined by a smudge of sauce on his lip. And no, Fabrizio was not distracted by this, no, not at all.

“Huh?” he asked, intelligently, when the man stared at him expectantly.

“Is it a special kind of cheese, is that why it tastes so different?”

Fabrizio had to smile.

“It is exceptionally good cheese if that is what you mean. We get it from one of the farmers in the area, it’s nothing you could buy in the supermarket.”

The man glared at him, his eyes pinched together.

“Fine. Keep your secrets then. I’ll find out sooner or later what it is.”

He scraped the last bits from the bottom of the cup, making Fabrizio wonder how anyone could eat that fast. Or maybe he had just lost track of time while staring. He had to admit to himself that that was also a possibility.

“Well, I better go now. Bye… Fabri.”

He started to respond to the greeting almost automatically until the words really registered with him, the hand he had raised in a casual greeting turning awkward and clumsy, his heart stumbling in his chest.

And now he just needed to know this man’s name, he was curious so sue him, but he couldn’t possibly ask straight forward.

“See you around…” And he really hoped his pause would be obvious enough, his voice raised in question and he just wished –

“Ermal. My name is Ermal.”

And then the man was gone, the next bend of the narrow sandy path swallowing him up, the bushes almost immediately hiding him from Fabrizio’s sight.

“Hmm.” He twitched when Lisa suddenly stood beside him, leaning on him and staring into the direction where the man, Ermal, had disappeared to.

“Not only cute but smart as well. I don’t think you stand any chance, just leave him to me already.”

“You’re not very funny. Let’s get back to business, I’m out of bacon and unfortunately, it refuses to cut itself.”

“Spoilsport.”

They worked for a while in silence, Fabrizio’s mind despite his best efforts circling around a certain man, while Lisa kept shooting him looks that he really wasn’t in the mood to interpret.

“You do realize that I was just talking shit earlier, right?”, she finally said, still focusing on the bacon in front of her. “Our Cacio e pepe actually isn’t _that_ good.”

Fabrizio’s knife hit the board with a dull thud, the cook not looking up from his work.

“It really is though. And I have no idea what you might be referring to.”

“Shut up, you know what I mean. He doesn’t come here only for the food and it sure as hell isn’t me either.”

Fabrizio kept on working in silence, refusing to even listen to her, refusing to start to hope. Out of the corner of his eyes, he could still see Lisa glancing at him when he didn’t react. She sighed when he just continued to ignore her, pushing the cut bacon into a container.

“Well, whatever it may be that makes him come back…”

And Fabrizio could sense her staring at him as she said it.

“Seems like he does have good taste.”

She wiped her hands before grabbing her package of cigarettes, lying right next to Fabrizio’s, the truck rocking as she left. Fabrizio stared after her for a moment, then started cutting again, his knife hitting the chopping board forcefully.

“No matter how good, he’s going to tire of it eventually.”

* * *

 

The next day, the grey sky made Fabrizio worry, the first light drops of rain shortly before lunch pattering against the roof causing a colourful curse to drop from his lips. He shot Lisa a quick message telling her that she didn’t need to bother coming, the few customers that would dare to have their lunch outside, he could handle on his own. His phone pinged, when he was just about to finish the small batch of pasta dough, his fingers smearing flour over his case as he pressed the button.

Lisa had written back, asking him if she should relieve him so that he could have some time off, but Fabrizio only rolled his eyes, determined to ignore her for now. He would answer, of course he would, but only after it was already too late so that they could save on all that needless discussion.

“Hey! You’re open?”

Fabrizio’s breath hitched as he heard that by now familiar voice, he slowly looked up from his phone and was greeted by a blinding smile and twinkling, brown eyes.

“One Cacio e Pepe, please!”

They were quiet as Fabrizio prepared the food with a few confident moves and then handed it over to Ermal, the other man promptly starting to scoop the pasta into his mouth, though Fabrizio would like to think that he did it just a little bit more slowly than usual.

“Lisa not here today?” Ermal finally asked between two bites, interrupting the quiet that had lingered between them.

“No, with this weather, I can handle the truck on my own.” Fabrizio bit his lip, his hands nervously tidying up the already clean counter.

“Sorry to disappoint.”

“Oh no”, Ermal said, his eyes not leaving Fabrizio’s for a second, “Not at all.”

The older man gulped, before hurriedly averting his eyes, staring at a small puddle right in front of the truck. They didn’t say anything for a few moments, Ermal eating his pasta while Fabrizio tried to calm down his beating heart. He took a deep breath, feeling as if he would have a heart attack.

“Is it the pepper then?”

Ermal’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts, he blinked at the other man confused.

“Pepper?”

“Yeah? I don’t know, there’s something different about it, but it’s so subtle, it’s hard to tell.”

Fabrizio couldn’t hold back the grin, the excitement taking over his emotions.

“You’re right.”

Ermal stopped in his movements, the bamboo fork with the pasta on it dangling in front of his mouth.

“Seriously?”

Fabrizio’s grin grew even wider as he got onto his toes, grabbing a small box from a cupboard placed over the counter. He opened the sealed container and held it in front of Ermal. The other man sat down his cup of noodles, taking a careful whiff, before taking the container from Fabrizio, their fingers brushing just for a split second.

“Long pepper?”

Surprised, Fabrizio stopped in his movements, raising an eyebrow at Ermal who was still sniffing the container.

“Yes, actually. How did you know?”

The other man looked at him with his eyebrows raised, his lips twitching up as if he was trying to suppress a grin.

“It’s pepper. And it’s long.”

Fabrizio could feel heat starting to rise into his cheeks, his fingers again starting to fiddle with the wet cloth in his hands.

“Well, yeah, but… usually, people don’t realise… ah, never mind.”

“Oh, I’m shocked”, Ermal said, but there was a smile on his face as he handed the container back to Fabrizio.

“You’re telling your secrets to people other than me as well?”

“Not all secrets. At least not all on the same day.” Fabrizio said, while he stood up on his toes to put the container back where it belonged, not thinking about his words until he noticed that he didn’t receive a sassy retort, his cheeks heating up again when he saw the Cheshire cat-like grin on Ermal’s face.

“I guess then I have to come back tomorrow.”

“You really don’t have to,” Fabrizio replied promptly, quickly fixing his eyes again onto the dark wood of the counter, anywhere but that gorgeous face.

“And what if I want to?”

His breath hitched at the serious voice, surprised he looked up and met dark eyes that were fixed on him, no trace of the previous joking left in them. It took Fabrizio a second or two to get his bearings back, his voice slightly shaking as he replied, and he just hoped that the other man wouldn’t notice.

“Well, not that I can do anything to keep you from coming.”

Ermal was quiet for a moment then, just staring at Fabrizio and the older man could feel his nerves starting to act up again, but then Ermal simply smiled, which only caused Fabrizio’s feelings to be even more confusing.

“Great. I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

He was already gone, hurrying into the rain, when Fabrizio finally replied, his confusion still marring his face.

“See you tomorrow.”

* * *

 

Sunshine woke him the next morning, but it didn’t help to improve Fabrizio’s mood. His joints were hurting, and his limbs felt sluggish as he forced himself to get out of bed, the cold tiles under his soles making him shiver. He already knew it wouldn’t be a good day today and he wanted to do nothing more than roll back under his cover and hide.

But he couldn’t, he knew he couldn’t, he had to open the food truck and if he didn’t start to hurry now, he would probably be late and get lectured by Lisa. And that is the last thing anyone would want.

Reluctantly he got himself ready and not shortly after stood in the park, in front of his truck, rummaging in his pockets for the keys.

It took him a lot longer than usual to finish his preparations, even with Lisa joining him later on and the truck was surprisingly quiet for the first time since Fabrizio finally earned enough money to hire people. He knew that Lisa was feeding off his energy, tense, not knowing when his already bad mood would twist and turn, causing his ugly side to rise again and he hated that he made her feel this way.

He tried his best to be friendly as soon as the customers showed up, but these little things that usually brought him so much joy, felt like a chore today. Even when Ermal visited them towards the end of the lunch rush, he could only smile weakly at him as he handed over the pasta and he could feel the man’s eyes on him as he continued to work.

It wasn’t until there was a little lull in the constant stream of hungry people, that Ermal stepped closer again, his voice shocking Fabrizio out of his blanked-out state.

“Is it the starch?”

“No”, Fabrizio simply said, turning around again to start preparing for the next dish. He didn’t want to come off as rude, especially not to Ermal, but he just felt so much like his batteries were just empty and he simply wanted this day to be over.

“Is he alright?”, he heard Ermal say and out of the corner of his eyes, he could see him scooting over to Lisa.

“I’m right here, you know?”

But they didn’t listen to him, Lisa popping her hip against the counter, two pair of eyes watching his movements critically.

“Not really. I guess this whole situation is taking its toll on him.”

“Lisa!”

“What situation?”

“Oh, he didn’t tell you about it?”

Fabrizio huffed, handing the cup of spaghetti carbonara over to the elderly woman with an apologetic smile.

“Could you two please stop pretending like I’m not here?”

“You see, it’s normally not only us two here, but our other cook, Claudio, did you ever see him? Anyway, Claudio is sick now and can’t work for a few weeks and I still have my lectures to go to, so most of the work is now on Fabri. And that idiot refuses to hire anyone new for that time.”

Fabrizio sighed, shooting her a resigned look.

“It’s not like I don’t want to, I told you, it’s just that it’s impossible to find someone! I don’t want to train anyone just for a few weeks and the money isn’t really – “

“I would do it.”

Fabrizio could only stare for a moment as the words register with him, a huge smile already forming on Lisa’s face.

“Seriously?” Lisa said, or more accurately, screeched, her voice sounding far too enthusiastic for Fabrizio’s taste.

“Yes, sure. I’m a cook and I just… happen to have some free time.”

Fabrizio frowned, a bad feeling developing somewhere in his stomach.

“Why, what do you – “

“Okay great, come on in then!”

Ermal’s face lit up with glee at her words, already starting to move before Fabrizio could even react.

“Oh no, he’s not”, Fabrizio said, begging Lisa with his eyes to stop. But then Ermal was out of his view, probably rounding the trailer to get to the door. Lisa stood before him with her arms crossed.

“You’re working yourself sick”

Fabrizio sighed, but he couldn’t deny the fact that he hadn’t been feeling too good lately.

“And I get the feeling that he knows what he’s doing. Fabri, please. We could really use his help right now.”

Fabrizio bit his lip, still undecided but then the trailer rocked, and the strange man entered his territory. He was taller than Fabrizio had expected him to be, but his face was even more gorgeous from up close. He noticed the piercing he had on one of his non-existing eyebrows, making his features stand out even more. 

Fabrizio was still staring at him, while the other man took the inside of the truck in, his eyes wandering over the countertops and the rows of different containers with their messy labels. As if this was a natural thing for him to do, his arms rose, quickly tying his long locks into a short ponytail. Then he smiled at Fabrizio, a strand of dark hair falling into his face, the messy bun looking ridiculous on him and not at all cute, no, absolutely not.

“So? What do you want me to do?”

Fabrizio’s heart jumped, and it was at that moment that he realized, he was fucked. And not in the way he would like to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So huh, this took me a while and I apologize for that... I really hope the next chapter won't take as long. I still hope you enjoyed this update!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ermal is starting to work at the Fabrizio's food truck and maybe it's not only the physical space between them that is getting smaller.

The sun was shining right in Ermal’s face as he crossed the street to what had by now become a familiar route. It was still a bit chilly this early in the morning, so he had thrown his leather jacket on, but the air was already thick with the smell of sun and he couldn’t suppress the wide grin at the thought of spending the whole day in the park, basking in nature and life.

Well. And maybe being cramped in a tiny food truck with a certain Roman might also have something to do with his good mood. Absentmindedly, he wondered how long it had been since he had been walking to work with a smile on his face.

When he arrived at the park, he saw Lisa standing outside the truck, phone in one hand and a cigarette in the other. He was just about to wave towards her, when a figure moved behind her, revealing another person, the smouldering red of their cigarette easy to spot in the shadow. Ermal gulped nervously, his arm falling down at his side as he awkwardly hid his hands in his pockets.

“Good Morning”, he greeted his temporary colleagues as soon as he was within earshot, drawing both of their gazes away from their screens, trying his hardest to seem confident when in reality, his heart was already beating in his throat.

“Oh good, you’re here.”

Fabrizio extinguished his cigarette butt and opened the door to the truck.

“Let’s start then.”

Ermal nodded with a shaky smile on his face that he hoped wasn’t too obvious. As much as the older man was good looking, he was also just as intimidating. Yesterday, after Ermal had suggested working for him, Fabri had already shown him a few things around the truck, had tested his abilities with a knife and taught him a few of the easier dishes. But today would be the first time Ermal helped him with the preparations so that there wouldn’t be any delays during the lunch rush.

And as he had already learned, Fabri was a very tactile teacher.

“No, if you cut the onion like this, it will take you too long.”

The older man put a hand on Ermal’s hip, guiding him aside and then concentrated on the ingredient himself.

“If you cut this way first, you can finish them faster.”

“But”, Ermal started, crossing his arms in front of his chest. His way was how he had learned it and he worked at a high-end restaurant, damnit.

“They’re not gonna be even then.”

Fabrizio smiled at him, a bit crookedly, stepping away from the onion and handing the knife back to Ermal.

“We don’t care about that here. There are only two things that count: Speed and taste.” He nodded towards the next onion.

“Come on, give it one more try.”

Ermal grumbled, but took the knife, quickly peeling away the skin before he started to cut the onion, just like Fabri had shown him.

“See? So much faster now, isn’t it?”

“Yeah”, Ermal grudgingly admitted, regarding the crooked pieces with disdain. Suddenly, there was a heavy arm around his shoulder, the smell of the other man permeating his nose.

“And I promise, they will taste just the same.”

Ermal froze, he wasn’t used to someone being so close to him, especially not at work. In his old kitchen, there were times that you bumped into each other or entered the personal space of someone else if you needed something that the other was standing close to by accident. But it was never this intentional, this… caring.

Fabri let him go again, his hand stroking Ermal’s back in the movement and the younger man had to suppress a shudder at the barely-there touch.

“I don’t know where you’ve worked before, but clearly, you know your way around the kitchen.”

He fell silent, but Ermal could feel the other man’s gaze on him. He gulped, the sound of the knife hitting the board continuing in the silence. Maybe it was stupid, maybe he should just tell Fabri but it was somehow so liberating to not have any expectations towards him, to not just be associated with a big name. And Ermal had to admit that he enjoyed that feeling.

“Okay.” Fabri’s quiet voice surprised him into looking up, their eyes meeting for a split second before he concentrated on his work again, blending out everything that was surrounding him. But it wasn’t so easy to blend out the hurt he had seen on the other man’s face.

 “I’m gonna just take a short break to smoke”, Fabri said but he didn’t move, prompting Ermal to nod quickly. When Fabri still didn’t go, he chanced a glance at him, but now it was the older man who was avoiding his gaze, focusing on the package of cigarettes in his hand.

“You want to come with me?” Ermal swallowed down the desire to say yes, even though he yearned for the calming effect of a cigarette right now, but there wasn’t time. You never take a break when there was still work to do, that was a lesson his first boss had taught him that he wouldn’t forget anytime soon.

He shook his head, watching with slight surprise as Fabri’s face fell just a bit more. Then the older man vanished, the trailer door falling shut behind him with a dull thud.

Ermal gritted his teeth and kept working, finally finishing cutting that last onion and wiped away the tears from his face. No matter how long you worked in a kitchen, this was still fucking annoying. He gathered the pieces to put them into their container and then regarded the counter with critical eyes. He wasn’t really sure what to do next, but he also didn’t want to disturb Fabri’s break. Indecisive, he drummed with his fingers against the counter.

This whole experience had been so completely different from what he had expected.

He thought he would get some quick instructions, Fabri looking over his work with eagle eyes like the chefs at the restaurant used to do. Maybe receive critique or, if it was going especially badly, a tongue lashing.

But Fabri was nothing like the chefs Ermal knew. He might be a bit gruff with his words, but he still took the time to explain the steps and observe Ermal’s attempts, standing at his side with subtle advice when there was something that could be improved. Ermal closed his eyes, trying to push away some unfortunate memories from his early beginnings. How he wished he would have had more teachers like him.

The rattling of the truck door pulled him out of his thoughts and he hurried to keep his face void of any emotions as Fabri entered the space again, this time with Lisa following close behind him.

“Hey, wow, you’re still here? Fabri didn’t drive you away yet?”

“I’m not that bad”, Fabrizio grumbled, stopping next to Ermal and observing the empty counter.

“You already finished the onions?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh thank god!”

Ermal chuckled at Lisa’s reaction, while Fabri shot her an angry glare. Yet it was impossible to miss the softness on his face while he did so.

“I’m gonna make you cut the garlic then.”

“But Fabri”, Lisa gasped, her whole face an overly dramatic expression of pure shock.

“It’s lunch time soon!”

Fabri only rolled his eyes, setting the clove in front of her, before turning back to stand in front of his own chopping board, frowning. Taking first one of the containers lining the working space, weighing it in his hands before placing it down again, then taking another.

“Huh”, he grunted, glancing at Ermal while he bit his lips, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards. “Looks like we’re done with the preparations. Why don’t we – “

“Fabri! One cup with pesto.”

The older man sighed, bending down to take one of the paper cups out of the fridge, the fresh pasta already weighed and neatly sitting in it. 

“Can you take out the pesto, please?” he asked Ermal, gesturing to another, smaller fridge under the sink. It took Ermal a minute to find the correct container, glancing over the assortment of sauces that were still sitting there. Fabri must have prepared them in advance early this morning. Of course he had, why hadn’t Ermal noticed this earlier?

And somehow, this hurt. Because that meant that Fabri didn’t trust him, the older man willing to do extra work, just to keep his secrets safe.

He stood up, the container in hand, handing it over with a too cheerful grin.

“You know”, he said, his voice overly sweet, “I could have helped with that.”

The other man didn’t even pretend not to know what he was talking about, he simply took the container without looking Ermal in the eye, concentrating on his cooking.

“It wasn’t a bother.”

“Right”, Ermal whispered, not trying to keep the hurt out of his voice. Fabri swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing.

“Can you please finish the garlic while Lisa is busy?”

“Sure.”

With that, Ermal turned around taking the clove from where Lisa had left it and proceeded to cut it, his back turned towards Fabri. They continued to work like this, Ermal trying to stock up what needed to and just in general, trying to be useful.

“One cacio e pepe!”

Ermal took a deep breath, closing his eyes. The temptation was there, he just needed to turn around and look, but Fabri had made it very clear what he thought of that. What he thought of Ermal. He concentrated again on weighing the portions of pasta, his gaze barely leaving the scale. After a few minutes, out of the corner of his eyes, he could see Fabri stepping towards the counter and handing the cup over to the customer.

Ermal sighed quietly, finally putting the scale away again and the pasta back into the fridge. Self-consciously, he noted that they probably wouldn’t be able to sell that many cups during lunch. Oh well.

“Hey.”

The young man twitched when the voice came from just beside him, he hadn’t realized the other man moved. He looked up at Fabri, trying to keep his face emotionless as their eyes met.

“I’m sorry.”

Ermal only shrugged, his hand nervously tugging at his single-use plastic glove.

“What can I do next?”

He hadn’t expected Fabri to look so hurt by his words.

“I just – “

“Fabri, one carbonara and hurry up!”

The older man huffed, a sour expression on his face as he turned around towards the stove, taking a clean pan from the rack.

Right, he could probably do the dishes, Ermal thought, frowning at the sink, but that would mean he would stand right next to Fabri while the other man cooked. So maybe not then. Maybe he could –

“Ermal.”

A soft voice calling his name made him look up and he was surprised to find Fabri still staring at him, the older man biting his lip as if he was nervous.

“Come on, you need to learn this.”

Slowly, as if he was trying not to spook him, Ermal stepped closer to the stove, sidling up next to Fabri. Constantly looking for signs that he was not welcomed here, that Fabri didn’t want him there. Maybe this had been a bad idea after all.

But he still watched diligently how Fabri prepared the dish, what spices to use and – most importantly – to remember to take the clove of garlic out when you finished frying the bacon.

“One more carbonara!”

Suddenly the handle of the pan was bumping into Ermal’s stomach, Fabri looking at him with a tightlipped smile on his face.

“Your turn now.”

Hesitantly, Ermal took the pan from him, starting to prepare the dish, Fabri quietly giving him instructions when he had missed a step. In the end, he handed the cup over to the customer with a charming smile, not letting the confusion he was feeling show on his face.

There was a little lull in the customers after that, Fabri taking advantage and grabbing for his cigarettes.

“You coming?”, he asked once more but Ermal only shook his head.

“I need to do the dishes.”

Fabri huffed.

“You’re allowed to take breaks, you know?”

Ermal shrugged, Fabri glancing one more time towards the younger man before leaving without him, the door falling loudly into its lock.

“Unbelievable.”

Surprised, Ermal turned around, finding Lisa staring at him and who knew for how long.

“What?”

“I mean if I wouldn’t have seen it with my own two eyes… He really likes you.”

Ermal arched his eyebrow.

“He does?”

The woman nodded, her phone grasped tightly in her hand.

“Oh yeah! He showed you his carbonara, right?”

“Well, yes but – “

“Listen”, she said with a tone in her voice Ermal had never heard before, so serious and insistent.

“He doesn’t trust people. At all. And that he let you in his truck and showed you his cooking? That’s a milestone for him. Don’t let his attitude fool you.”

She bit his lip, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“Please Ermal. Don’t let him down.”

Ermal swallowed, opening his mouth, but then the truck door swung open, Fabri entering the narrow space with a cloud of cold smoke surrounding him.

“Hey, no chit-chatting!” he said, smirking at them, the sight making Ermal’s heart trip.

“Right. We were just making fun of your hair”, Lisa shot back, not missing a beat. The older man frowned, tugging at the chaotic mess on his head.

“What’s wrong with it?”

Ermal gaped at him.

“Are you serious? Do you even know what a comb is?”

“Hey, don’t judge me! We can’t all have hair as pretty as yours.”

And then Fabri reached up, tugging a few strands of loose hair that had fallen out of Ermal’s ponytail behind his ear, still smiling up at the younger man.

Ermal gulped, his mouth suddenly as dry as the desert.

“One tomato sauce, please!”

As soon as the older man had turned around towards the stove, a deep breath left Ermal and he could feel his face heat up. What had even just happened?

He watched as Fabri prepared the dish with sure hands, his breathing still a bit irregular and wondered, how he was supposed to survive the next weeks.

* * *

 When he arrived to work the next day, he was surprised to note that Lisa wasn’t there.

“She has classes this morning”, Fabri told him, holding out a brown paper bag towards him, the sweet smell of something sugary wafting towards Ermal. Cautiously, he took the bag from Fabri, looking at the other man suspiciously.

“Shouldn’t we… I don’t know, start with the preparations or something?”

But Fabri only grinned at him, biting into a fresh croissant, the chocolate cream staining his lips.

“You’re a quick learner. We’ll manage.”

“Oh yeah? Or did you already prepare everything anyway, just like yesterday?”

The smile was wiped away from Fabri’s face and Ermal felt bad that he didn’t feel bad about that.

“I… “, the older man started, but didn’t continue, his mouth uselessly flapping open and close. Ermal seriously just wanted to ball up the paper bag in his hand and throw it at the other man, it was so frustrating.

“I… I didn’t.”

Ermal stopped chewing, staring at the other man.

“You didn’t… what?”

“I didn’t prepare anything.  I meant it, you’re a good cook, fantastic actually, and even if it’s just the two of us we should manage just fine.”

Ermal nodded slowly, taking another bite from his croissant, stealing himself some more time to think.

“I’m sorry”, he started after a moment, his shoulders slowly relaxing. “I guess I was overreacting. That was a bit unfair.”

“No, you’re right it’s just…”

“I only wish you would trust me.”

“I want to.”

Their eyes met and Ermal could see the sincerity in Fabri’s dark ones, but he also knew that he wouldn’t get more than this at the moment.

They finished their breakfast in silence, Ermal shooting Fabri occasionally looks that were met with insecure smiles and that really shouldn’t be as cute as it was.

“Okay, let’s get to work then”, the older man said as he balled up his empty paper bag, getting up from where he had been leaning against the counter. Ermal followed him suit, almost causing Fabri to bump into him in the tiny truck.

“Sorry”, the older man mumbled, awkwardly scratching his neck, while staring at his feet. Ermal chuckled, but the smell of the other man was getting into his head, making him feel dizzy. “I just… need to get my notes.”

“Oh yeah, sure.”

It was a bit awkward as they tried to navigate around each other before Fabri could finally reach a thin notebook with a cheap plastic cover. His fingers flicked trough the worn pages with ease until he had apparently found what he was looking for.

“Here”, he said, handing the booklet over to Ermal. Curiously, his gaze raced over the looping scrawl covering the pages, a frown marring his forehead the longer he stared at it.

“How am I supposed to read this?”

Fabri groaned, grabbing for the booklet and staring at his own handwriting dubiously.

“Not you, too. Come on, it’s not that bad, is it?”

“What’s that supposed to be?”

“That? Tomatoes.”

“And that?”

“Pepper. Now you’re just making fun of me.”

Ermal chuckled, taking the notes back from the other man.

“I think I’ll manage.”

Fabri nodded and started to take out different containers from the cupboards.

“Good. I’ll make the dough then and you’ll take care of the sauces. Okay?”

“Sure.”

Like this, they worked for a while, without much being said between them except for the occasional help Ermal needed while deciphering the recipes. But Ermal realized he wanted more, wanted to know more about this man who was stoically kneading the dough with the same gentle fingers that guided Ermal through his work. He bit his lip, his heart beating loudly in his chest as he gathered all his courage.

“So, Fabri – “

“Don’t call me that.” Ermal looked at him in surprise, his knife hovering in the air in front of him, his nervous heart skipping a beat.

“Why not? Lisa calls you like this. I’ve been calling you that for a while now.”

Fabrizio sighed, placing the flour back into its spot, his eyes squeezed shut.

“I know, but I don’t like it. Just call me Fabrizio, please.”

Ermal scrunched up his nose.

“But that’s... so long.”

The other man raised his gaze and Ermal’s heart broke at the pain in his dark eyes.

“I know, but please.”

Slowly, Ermal nodded, before tilting his head in thought.

“What about another nickname then?”

Fabrizio shrugged, turning back to finishing the pasta dough, apparently satisfied.

“I don’t mind nicknames per se. Just… not that one.”

Ermal nodded, even though Fabrizio didn’t look at him anymore and they both went back to finishing the preparations in silence, but Ermal just couldn’t stop thinking about it.

After a while, it was impossible for him to stay silent any longer.

“You know, I’m not gonna ask why. Well, of course, if you want to talk about it, I’m all ears.”

Fabrizio shook his head, so Ermal continued.

“But why aren’t you saying anything to Lisa? I’m sure she would understand.”

Fabrizio shrugged again with a grimace, awkwardly scratching the back of his nose.

“It’s just… such a hassle. I don’t like to talk about this with people.”

“But you did talk about it to me.”

“Well yeah. But you’re different.”

Ermal felt his heart speed up, his hand starting to shake slightly. He tried to breathe calmly, putting the knife down in front of him. He probably just needed a smoke. But work, right. Work should come first.

Another breath, then he picked the knife up again, the sound of the metal hitting the chopping board the only sound accompanying the song of the birds in the orange tree next to them. They continued to work like this until Lisa showed up, her lively chattering filling the silence in the truck, though it hadn’t been an uncomfortable one.

On the contrary, Ermal had enjoyed it, just standing next to Fabrizio, working together, without any need for words between them.

But now lunch was right around the corner, the drippling of people craving some good pasta soon turning into a stream, keeping all three of them busy. Ermal was again amazed how the rush changed Fabrizio, the older cook shedding seemingly any insecurity, all awkwardness gone. And Ermal couldn’t deny that it had a certain effect on him.

As adorable as the other man was when it was just the two of them, calmly preparing the ingredients, seeing him so commanding of the tiny space, guiding Ermal with confident touches that made his heart beat faster, never failed to stun him speechless.

He was so focused on his work that he didn’t notice it at first, but slowly the rush had died down, leaving them with a bit more time on their hands.

Suddenly, there was a cup of pasta in front of his face, the thick smell of cheese cloying his nose. He took a deep breath, sighing, before taking the cup from Fabrizio’s fingers, his stomach starting to rumble excitedly.

“You can go home now”, the older man said with a gentle voice, a smile tugging at his lips.

“But – “

“It’s okay, you worked hard today, I don’t think I’ll need to do much preparation now for dinner time. Come a bit later tomorrow, then you can help me with the evening crowd. I’ll gladly exchange you for Lisa.”

“Oh shush, you love me.”

Ermal chuckled, as Fabrizio rolled his eyes and he could see him suppressing a smile, their interaction warming his heart.

“I’ll leave you two to it then”, he said, a bit hesitantly, slowly backing away.

“Yeah, see you tomorrow”, Lisa threw over her shoulder, still busy at the cash register, Fabrizio already impatiently waving him away.

It turned out to be surprisingly hard for Ermal to leave.

* * *

As he entered the truck the next day around lunch, the other two were already busy, the people starting to cue in front of the truck. He was immediately pulled aside by Lisa who told him to ready more cups and to kindly hurry the fuck up or there would be bloodshed.

“How do you usually manage this with only two people?” Ermal asked, handing Fabrizio two more portions of fresh pasta.

“Easy”, Lisa said, while fishing some coins out of the cash register. “We don’t.”

Ermal chuckled, reaching to take out more cups to prepare but then there was a warm hand on his back, the thumb rubbing against his thin shirt, causing a shiver to run down his spine, the suddenness of it making it impossible for him to suppress his action in time.

“Sorry,” Fabrizio said, his voice quiet, teeth biting into his lower lip. “Can you please cut some bacon? We’re kinda running low.”

Ermal nodded, speechless, his heart hammering in his ears. Fabrizio smiled shyly at him before turning back to his cooking station, leaving Ermal standing there with his world tilted. Another deep breath that did absolutely nothing to calm him down and he took out a clean chopping board and the bacon, letting the monotonous movements calm his thoughts and racing heart.

Gradually, the downpour of customers slowed down, the smile on Lisa’s face relaxing. She started talking to Ermal again, telling him about her studies and how hard it was to have Fabrizio as a boss. He didn’t think he had laughed that much since moving out and away from family, his stomach starting to hurt when she told him about that one time an old lady tried to convince Fabrizio to marry her granddaughter.

“Ermal!”

His head whipped up when he heard his name being called, a smile on his face when he saw Fabrizio looking at him expectantly. With two big steps, he was beside the other man, their shoulders bumping into each other, the by now familiar touch making heat coil in his stomach.

“What do you want me to do?”

And at least Ermal could imagine, the way Fabrizio’s gaze went to his lips that he was thinking about the same things Ermal was.

Then the older man slightly shook his head, grabbing Ermal’s shoulders and manoeuvring him so that he stood with his back completely towards the customers. Ermal arched his eyebrow, looking at the other man questioningly.

“What –?”

He stopped speaking when he noticed Fabrizio pulling out a large container with grated cheese, a smile tugging at his lips that he quickly tried to suppress, the excitement having him bobbing on his toes. The older man smirked at him conspiratorially as he stretched to get the long pepper, the opaque box not giving away its secret. With quick movements, Fabrizio prepared the dish, Ermal’s gaze attentively following his tattooed hands. It was almost finished when he took something out of the fridge that made Ermal raise his eyebrows.

“A le– “

Fabrizio quickly shushed him with a finger against the younger man’s lips, his smirk growing even wider at the Ermal’s reaction. He quickly went back to work, immediately hiding the yellow ingredient again when he was done, presenting Ermal with the finished product, but the younger man still stared at him in disbelief.

“Seriously?”

Fabrizio shrugged, handing Ermal one of their bamboo forks before taking one for himself as well.

“The dose is important, only so much that it gives the pasta a fresh hint, not too much that it overshadows the main ingredients. Come on, try it. It’s actually quite obvious when you know.”

Hesitatingly, Ermal took a bite, closing his eyes as the taste exploded on his tongue. But Fabrizio was right, now that he had watched the preparation, it was almost too easy to detect the hint of sourness and freshness.

“You’re a genius”, he said, still with his mouth full and watched in delight as the older man guffawed, his cheeks getting a slightly red tint.

“You’re exaggerating”, Fabrizio mumbled, awkwardly scratching his neck and Ermal decided that the blush suited him quite well.

“But why are you so secretive?” Ermal asked, already fishing for another bite, his stomach rumbling. “That afraid someone might steal your idea?”

He hadn’t expected Fabrizio’s breath to hitch like that, the beautiful look of embarrassed pride immediately gone, replaced by a closed-off expression that Ermal hadn’t seen since his first day working together. He could hear Lisa behind him, hissing something, trying to get his attention but his mind was too focused on the other man. A dark realization curled in his stomach, puzzle pieces that finally clicked together, adding to the picture.

“Fabrizio, I – “

“People are too nosy”, the older cook interrupted him, holding his gaze, pleading with his eyes to just go with his excuse, before he let his head fall to stare at the floor.

“When they know what I use, I have to listen to how it isn’t done like this, that it’s not real cacio e pepe…and if they don’t, they won’t ask, just simply enjoying the dish and shut up…” He took a shuddering breath and fell silent, his fingers playing nervously with the hem of his apron.

“Except for me.”

Surprised, Fabrizio’s head whipped up, his eyes wide and vulnerable, before a hesitant smile tugged at his lips.

“Except for you.”

* * *

The silence afterwards when they were going back to their work was tense but not all uncomfortable as the finished the late lunch crowd. Then Lisa said goodbye, stating that she had homework to do, so it was just the two of them again.

In his mind, Ermal was already going through the preparations they needed to finish in between the rush hours, wondering how much of each sauce Fabrizio wanted him to prepare when his wrist was suddenly grabbed, and the older man carefully took the knife out of his fingers, smiling at him too brightly.

“Okay, let’s take a break.”

“A break? Are you crazy? We still have to prepare for the dinner crowd, the dough needs to be kneaded and the vegetables, unfortunately, don’t cut themselves on their own, so – “

That’s when Fabrizio started laughing, laughing right into his face and Ermal wasn’t really sure how to deal with that. Then the older man tugged at his hand and pulled him out of the trailer, towards one of the quieter areas of the park. A couple of empty banks where standing there in the shade, the people preferring to enjoy the late evening sun before it vanished. They sat down on one of them, Fabrizio pulling out his packet of Marlboros and offering it to Ermal. He reluctantly pulled one cigarette out with a sour expression on his face.

“We have work to do.” Fabrizio chuckled and lightened his cigarette.

“You need to relax”, the older man said, casually blowing smoke out of his mouth and nostrils. He smirked at Ermal then, right when the sun was showering them with her last rays for the day and Ermal wasn’t sure he had ever seen a person more beautiful than the one sitting before him right now with that boyish grin on his face.

And it kind of hit Ermal then, because this beauty wasn’t only skin-deep, it was also in the way the man showed him around the truck with gentle touches, the smile he showed towards the customers no matter what, the loving way he treated Lisa like a little sister, the way he laughed at Ermal’s horrible jokes, the way his eyes –

A deep chuckling shocked him out of his thoughts and suddenly there was a large hand in his locks, gently stroking through them and Ermal shivered and kind of wished they would never stop.

“You alright?” Fabrizio asked. “Already had your first heart attack?”

He continued to laugh while caressing Ermal’s scalp, but there was no sassy retort this time, all of Ermal’s wittiness consumed by only one thought, his heart beating in his throat.

 _Holy shit_ , he thought. _I’ve fallen in love with him._


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feelings can sometimes prove to be unstoppable... but maybe that is not always such a bad thing.

Satisfied, Fabrizio watched as Ermal finished the dish without many problems, handing the cup over to the waiting customer with a bright smile. In only a few days the other man had really proven himself as an incredible cook and not only that. To his surprise, Fabrizio had found that he really enjoyed the company of the other man, during work and during breaks as well, even though he still had to almost force him to take those. Ermal was witty and smart, immediately getting along with Lisa like a house on fire, their antics often leaving Fabrizio breathless from all the laughter.

But there were also the times when it was just the two of them, quietly preparing for the day and it always left Fabrizio with a sense of calmness that he hadn’t associated with his work in a while, the company of the other man a reassuring presence close to him.

And Fabrizio wasn’t stupid, despite what Lisa might say.

It was hard not to notice the looks Ermal would sometimes give him or how he seemed to immediately relax underneath Fabrizio’s touches. How his smile grew wider every time Fabrizio complimented his cooking. Or how he turned around, just like now, often searching for Fabrizio with his eyes, demanding his approval, his attention with a hopeful smile on his face.

Something that Fabrizio was more than willing to give.

“You’re doing good.”

Ermal huffed, leaning against the counter, his knee bumping against Fabrizio’s.

“Yeah, well. I had a good teacher.”

“Hmm. Sure would love to meet that guy.”

Ermal laughed, a laugh that came straight from his belly, causing him to throw his head back, his eyes lighting up and that made the sunshine seem a bit brighter.

Yes, Fabrizio wasn’t stupid.

He knew that Ermal wasn’t the only one looking, wasn’t the only one trying to make the non-existing space between them disappear. But how was he supposed to resist, when Ermal was looking at him with that smile, his elegant fingers handling the food so delicately, his dark locks tickling the back of his neck. And damn, did Fabrizio want to do things to those fingers.

But he couldn’t. It wasn’t because he thought that Ermal wouldn’t let him, on the contrary, and that was a direction of thought that Fabrizio needed to abort as soon as possible. But he was a professional. Or at least he would like to think so. And he knew that quite a few people relied on his business, be that Lisa and Claudio relying on their wages or Andrea and his other suppliers relying on their income. He couldn’t risk his emotions getting into the way of all of this.

He couldn’t risk becoming so vulnerable ever again.  

“Everything alright?”

Fabrizio had to pull himself together so that he didn’t twitch at the sudden warmth on his back, the gentle touch too much at the moment, when his own feelings were too raw. Instead, he forced a smile on his face, trying not to let anything of his inner turmoil show on the outside. He needed to get his mind back on track.

“Yeah, of course. But hey, I was just thinking…” he trailed off, biting his lip, his emotions warring inside of him. Ermal was taking a step back, crossing his arms in front of him, frowning at Fabrizio. The older man took a quick breath.

“Would it be okay if I took the afternoon off?”

Ermal’s frown evened out into a smirk, his posture relaxing.

“You’re the boss, aren’t you? Can’t you decide that for yourself?”

Fabrizio groaned, hitting Ermal against the shoulder.

“You know what I mean.”

It was fascinating to witness as all signs of laughter vanished from Ermal’s face, a sombre expression entering it.

“I’ll be fine. Lisa is going to come in an hour or so anyway. I can handle it.”

Then he stepped forward again, his fingers coiling around Fabrizio’s wrist, just shy of touching his hand and Fabrizio was pretty sure he was having a heart attack.

“Trust me.”

Fabrizio nodded, the lie curling heavy in his stomach, and hoped that Ermal would believe him. It took him a while to actually leave the truck, stopping right outside for a smoke as he observed Ermal handling a young couple with ease, his easy-going chatter making both customers leave with a smile on their faces and deliciously smelling cups in their hands.

After five more minutes, he really couldn’t justify standing around there in the open any longer, so he quickly waved at Ermal, before finally leaving the park, forcing himself to not turn around for one last time.

It was weird walking around the streets of Rome like this, without purpose. He had to be back at the truck before the dinner crowd would start gathering, so there really wasn’t any point in going home. The only thing left to do was taking a stroll through the neighbourhood, his gaze wandering across the little shops and restaurants without stopping on anything in particular.

That was until he came across a little bookshop, its window overladen with an array of kitchen utensils, promoting a few selected books about cooking and baking. Inside, it was crowded, mostly with books, not people, even though he heard the occasional tourist talking in a foreign language that didn’t mean anything to him.

He quickly found the corner with the recipe books and started browsing through them, ignoring everything else around him. Most of the books about pasta weren’t really interesting to him, either he owned them or they were no good anyways. A few of the newer ones he kept in mind, maybe he would take a closer look at them later. His eyes strayed then, they had a section about local cuisines that looked fascinating, he thought, as he pulled out a book with recipes from Tuscany. He leafed through the pages and had to tell his stomach to be quiet as he read through a recipe for pasta with boar sauce that left his mouth watering.

Maybe he could use that in a new recipe.

His movements stopped for a moment, but the dark thoughts that would normally haunt him when he thought about this didn’t come, no wondering if it was senseless, no worries about stolen recipes. No churning feeling in his stomach.

He took a deep breath, trying to push down the urge to yell his feelings at the world, but he knew that he was unable to suppress the giddy smile on his face. The book from Tuscany still in his hand, he continued to look through the books, until his gaze was again drawn to one of them, the title making his heart jump. Carefully, he opened it, quickly skipping through some of the recipes, the combination of well-known and foreign ingredients intriguing him.

Without giving it much thought, he grabbed both of the books, slowly meandering to the cashier, still smiling as he handed over his purchase.

“Oh, Albania!” the woman behind the counter smiled at him. “How lovely. They have beautiful recipes for pie in there, my husband loves them! He’s Albanian, you know.”

Fabrizio nodded as if he did, his mind already back at the truck.

“Yeah, well it’s for…” he began, but stopped himself, realizing that he didn’t know how to continue. All the words that popped up in his mind seemed wrong, not enough, too much. He swallowed.

“One of my friends is Albanian as well.”

Her eyes grew softer then, bundling the books up in a paper bag.

“Here you go.”

Fabrizio handed over the money, thanking her and turned to leave when her voice rang through the shop one more time.

“I’m sure they’ll love it. Whatever you cook for them.”

He waved at her with a smile, unsure how to respond as his mind provided him with a myriad of pictures of Ermal eating the food that Fabrizio made, his expression of pure bliss when he took the first bite, the little noises he would make…

He didn’t even hear the door shut behind him, his feet carrying him to the park of their own account, only bright laughter ringing in his ears.

The relief he felt when his eyes fell on the little truck with its colourful markings, was irrational. He knew that, knew that he was behaving stupidly, but it wasn’t like he could do anything against that.

Quietly, he entered the truck, amazed at how smoothly his two employees were working together. He almost felt like an intruder when they stopped their work to greet him, immediately going back to finishing the preparations.

“Am I interrupting?”, he asked, forcing his voice to sound cheerful but not sure how successful he was. Not very much if the look Lisa was shooting him was any indication.

“We’re almost done”, she said, a smirk playing around the corners of her mouth.

“Don’t worry, he’s going to be all yours again in a minute.”

A violent coughing fit shook Ermal’s body, almost covering the noise the books made when they forcefully hit the counter, as Fabrizio’s heart hammered in his chest, his fingers nervously twitching at the sudden loss of weight. Lisa acted as if nothing had happened, finishing cutting the tomatoes in front of her with a flourish.

“So, prep is finished, can I leave now, _boss_?”

And how she always managed to make that word sound like an insult, he’ll never know.

“Uhm, yeah”, he mumbled, his brain still messy, his heart beating a mile a minute.

The door closed behind her, cutting off her quick goodbye, leaving Ermal and Fabrizio all alone in that tiny truck, an unusually heavy silence hanging above them. Ermal quickly turned his back to Fabrizio, stepping towards the sink, the sound of the water running filling the truck. Fabrizio tried to calm his racing heart, wiping his hand over his face. He tried to concentrate on something else, anything else but the man that made the truck feel even smaller than it actually was. Absentmindedly he fiddled with the books, pulling them out of the bag, acting as if he hadn’t read through the texts on the back just yet.

“Oh!”

The delighted sound made him look up, Ermal staring at his books with an expression that eerily reminded him of his children’s faces on Christmas.

“May I?”

It took Fabrizio a moment to make the connection, but then he handed over the book with the Albanian recipes, Ermal immediately grabbing it and pointing out a few of them, excitedly telling Fabrizio stories about his grandmother’s cooking and his favourite dishes as a child. And Fabrizio tried to tell himself that this was absolutely not the reason why he had bought that book.

“Ohhh, I especially loved this one!”

Ermal pointed at a recipe that seemed to be some sort of casserole, a big smile on his face that Fabrizio couldn’t help but answer.

“My mom used to make it on special occasions.”

He stroked over the glossy photo on the page, his excited expression turning sombre, he seemed almost sad.

“It’s one of the better memories I have.”

Fabrizio hummed, sidling a bit closer to the other man, their arms connecting in what he hoped was a silent show of support. Ermal had never really talked much about his childhood, but it had been quite clear that it wasn’t necessarily a happy one. Fabrizio hadn’t asked for more, didn’t dare to. He _trusted_ Ermal to come to him if the other wanted to talk.

Oh. Oh shit.

Fabrizio bit his lip, trying to keep calm. He replayed his thoughts again, only with the dawning realization that it was true.

He had started to trust Ermal.

Fabrizio clenched his fists, he could feel himself starting to tremble. This wasn’t good, not good at all. He would be hurt, he would be betrayed, he would be left torn to pieces. Again.

And yet.

He looked at the young man standing next to him, at his strong profile, his beautiful features and even more beautiful soul.

And he realized one more thing.

He wanted to. Wanted to trust him.

* * *

Ermal fished out the key at its long chain out of his bag, grinning at it for a second before opening the truck and entering it with a skip in his step. He couldn’t deny that he was proud that Fabrizio had given him the keys yesterday after his shift, even though he knew that it had been a bit reluctantly. And he also knew that Fabrizio would probably still come and check up on him during the morning until his own shift started, but Ermal didn’t really mind that.

It would almost be adorable if it wasn’t for the haunted look in Fabrizio’s dark eyes, the frown on his face only disappearing when he had made sure that everything was as it should be.

Slowly, Ermal started preparing for the day, his movements sure and precise, kneading the dough with strong hands. He only looked up shortly when the truck rocked, a smile tugging at his lips as Lisa joined him at the counter, tugging a pair of plastic gloves out of their industrial-sized package. Almost immediately she started talking about university and her friends, who Ermal knew already every single one by name, her chattering filling the relative silence of the early morning park. It was so different from the quietness when he worked together with Fabrizio but no less appreciated.

Together, they finished everything quickly, Lisa taking a quick smoking break before the lunch rush made it impossible for Ermal to deal with everything on his own. He was just about to weigh a few more cups of pasta when a sweet voice sounded from the front of the truck.

“’Scuse me, Mister?”

Ermal turned around, a bit surprised because he hadn’t seen anyone approaching the truck, a smile immediately brightening up his face as he saw the young boy standing there, looking at him with big brown eyes that somehow tickled a distant memory in his mind. The boy was barely able to look over the counter, standing precariously on his toes, as he pointed towards the kitchen behind Ermal.

“Can you make me pasta with, with tomato sauce, please?”

Ermal shuffled towards the little boy, leaning on the counter so that their faces were closer.

“Sure, I can do that. Did your parents give you money?”

“Huh? Oh, and also one cup with the special sauce, please.”

Confused, Ermal frowned. He went through his memory but couldn’t remember anything like that.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, but I don’t think we have any special sauce.”

The little boy looked definitely not impressed, rolling his eyes in exasperation.

“It’s for my sister.”

Well, that made things absolutely clearer. Ermal bit his lip.

“Listen, I’m sorry – “

“Oh, Lib, wait, sorry. Ermal is still new, he doesn’t know yet. Ani, please stop wiggling, you’re gonna fall! Hey, Ermal!”

Ermal couldn’t do anything but stare for a moment, before he hurriedly mumbled a greeting, his eyes unable to move from the scene in front of him. It eerily felt like staring at a train wreck.

There Fabrizio was, kind, gruff, handsome Fabrizio, the little boy, Lib, immediately starting to tug at the sleeve of his shirt, demanding pasta while a little girl was settled on his arm, her pink dress glittering in the sunshine as she impatiently turned and twisted, asking for her papà to finally let her down because she needed to go greet the kitty cat.

 Her papà.

Of fucking course. He should have known. Some people were just too good to be true. Ermal had to give it to his vivid imagination that he had almost convinced himself that Fabrizio would have been interested in him. Him! How ridiculous.

Fabrizio slowly let the girl down then, his daughter immediately running away as soon as her feet touched the ground, the watchful eyes of her father never leaving her back.

“Isn’t Lisa here yet?”

The deep voice shocked Ermal out of his trance, he had to blink once before his brain started to work again.

“Smoking”, he simply said, his own voice stiff and cold. He immediately berated himself when Fabrizio’s eyes widened for a second, a slight trembling upsetting his smile. It wasn’t really the poor man’s fault that Ermal had been delusional. That didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt, though.

“Oh, okay.”

The older man bit his lip, Ermal immediately averting his eyes. He really couldn’t deal with his emotions right now.

“Ermal, are you – “

“Hey, sorry for making you wait!”

A beautiful woman with long, brown hair came hurrying towards them, immediately hugging Fabrizio, pressing a quick kiss against his stubbly cheek that might as well have been friendly. But of course, it wasn’t, Ermal thought as he looked on as the little girl came suddenly running out of nowhere, enthusiastically hugging the woman around the waist, words like a waterfall tumbling out of her mouth, but the word _mamma_ repeated over and over again, leaving no doubt about who this was.

The hinges of the truck door announced Lisa coming back inside, so he quickly grabbed for his own package of cigarettes and squeezed himself through the narrow space past her.

“Ermal?”

“Taking a break.”

He heard her chuckle, the sound twisting in his mind.

“About time. Oh hey, Fabri! And wow, Lib, did you grow again?”

Ermal quickly hid behind the truck, staring mindlessly at the blue sky while the smoke pleasantly filled his lungs. Slowly, he breathed it out, watching as it curled towards heaven. His mind was completely blank, he didn’t know what to think. He couldn’t believe how stupid he had been. Someone like Fabrizio, hadn’t it been obvious that someone like him would never be single? Of course he was taken, because that’s what he deserved, someone as sweet as Fabrizio deserved to be in a loving relationship, deserved to have a loving family. Which obviously was the case.

Ermal’s hand trembled as he took the next drag.

He would be fine, he tried to tell himself. Just three more weeks in their tiny food truck. Then he would go back to the restaurant, back to the stress and the tension of his old kitchen and would probably forget about all of this in about a week.

Ermal had always been a terrible liar.

“Mister?”

The bright voice made him look up in surprise and when he noticed the little girl peeking around the corner, he quickly extinguished his cigarette, smiling at her as best as he could.

“My name is Ermal.”

She still looked at him a bit warily but slowly took a step forward.

“I’m Anita.”

“Hello Anita”, he said, still smiling at her, slowly sitting down on a huge rock that was close by, bringing him closer to her height.

“You have a pretty dress.”

Apparently, that was all the invitation the girl needed as she skipped towards him, pointing at the little flowers on her dress and telling him how it was a present for her last birthday, that they had her favourite chocolate strawberry cake that day and how Libero had been a meany and –

All Ermal could do was stare at her, only able to nod under the avalanche of her story, unable to hide the smile on his face. In some ways, her bubbly personality was so different from her father’s, but the eyes seem to be one thing the Mobrici’s had in common.

He didn’t know when he had ended up with a lapful of five-year-old, but at some point, Anita had decided to show him how to braid and now of course needed to demonstrate her abilities on Ermal’s locks, all protests ignored. Not that there had been many to begin with.

“Ani? Where are you, your mother wants to go now! “

The rough voice was unmistakable and all Ermal wanted to do was hide, but it was sort of difficult to do that with his hair in the tight grip of a little girl.

Fabrizio’s face tensed as he rounded the truck, his gaze falling on Ermal but as soon as he noticed his daughter, the most beautiful smile lit up his features.

“What are you doing there, honey?”

“Braiding”, was her direct answer, the tip of her tongue peeking out as she concentrated.

Fabrizio watched her for another second, the loving expression on his face making Ermal’s heart beat faster before he walked towards them.

“Come on, your mother is waiting.”

Anita turned towards her father, her brown eyes huge and pleading.

“Just one more braid?”

“Next time, okay?”

“Promise?”

It took Ermal a moment to notice that Anita was looking at him and he had to swallow down his emotions. And he wished he could lie to her, give her a feeble promise, but he knew he couldn’t. Because he knew, it wouldn’t only be the promise that got broken. Gently, he tugged her hair behind her ear, her innocent face tugging at his heart.

“Of course, sweety. I’ll be right here.”

She giggled before pulling out one of her own hair clips, which of course was of a glittery pink and used it to tie his newly acquired braid on his head. He looked after her with a bitter taste on his tongue, trying to look cheerful as she waved at him.

As soon as she had vanished behind the truck, he stood up, quickly joining Lisa again, who was already busy serving food to some impatient customers.

“You are never again allowed to take a break”, she grumbled at him as he took his place behind her.

“Fabri is also gone, saying goodbye to the kids, what am I supposed to do with all these people?”

“Sorry”, Ermal mumbled, immediately turning to start preparing the next dish, when suddenly Lisa started giggling.

“It suits you.”

He looked at her irritated until she pointed at his hair. And then he remembered the pink clip and groaned, hoping that Lisa would just leave it, but of course, she didn’t do him that favour.

“That looks like Anita’s work.”

Ermal nodded wordlessly while preparing a cup of spaghetti carbonara, expertly cracking the egg, trying his best to ignore her.

“Yeah, I know, her eyes are completely irresistible. Just like her dad’s, isn’t that right?”

He shot her a dark look and handed over the cup of pasta to the customer with a forced smile, immediately turning around again to continue with his work. Lisa chuckled.

“Don’t be like that, I’m just saying – “

The truck door opened with a screech, cutting her off and Fabrizio entered, making Ermal feel slightly claustrophobic in the small kitchen that seemed so much tinier now that he wanted to get as much space as possible between them.

“Everything alright?”, the older man asked and Ermal knew, the way he turned towards Ermal, the way his hand started to twitch as if it wanted to reach out, Fabrizio wasn’t just asking about work. But he refused to react, concentrating far too much on the simple cup of pesto he was currently preparing, completely ignoring the other man.

“Yeah, now that you’re here.”

Lisa’s voice was too cheerful as she answered, quickly bringing Fabrizio up to speed on what needed to be done. They worked quietly until the rush was slowly dying down, the silence now much more tangible than before.

Ermal was focusing on cutting more bacon, his knife hitting the chopping board in a soothing rhythm. He was almost done when there was a warm hand pressing against his back, the touch making him twitch, the knife only narrowly missing his thumb. Without thinking, he hurriedly stepped away, the hand gone now, the spot where it had touched immediately turning cold. Fabrizio’s gaze met his and he hadn’t expected the broken look in the other man’s eyes.

“Looks like you’ll be fine without me”, the older man mumbled, his voice so quiet, Ermal could barely hear him over the noise of the park. Then Fabrizio turned around, undoing the knots of his apron.

“We need some more kitchen supplies, I’ll be back in about half an hour.”

Before they could say anything, the door fell shut behind him and they could see him leaving the park with determined strides.

Ermal didn’t have time to feel guilty about his reaction, as Lisa immediately turned to him, glowering at him with her hands on her hips.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“I have no idea – “

“Don’t fuck with me, Ermal. I like you, I thought you were an honest person. So tell me, what the fuck was that all about just now?”

He sighed, leaning against the counter and staring outside at the people, anything, just to not look her in the eyes. It took him another moment to speak up.

“I didn’t know he had kids”, he finally mumbled.

Lisa’s stance relaxed slowly, her arms falling down at her side, slowly stepping forward to stand next to him, their shoulders almost touching. Her voice was much softer when she talked again.

“He never told you?”

Ermal shook his head, still staring straight ahead. Lisa nodded, glancing at him from the side.

“Okay. So what’s bothering you about this, the kids… or that he hasn’t told you about them?”

It was neither, really, but it’s not like Ermal wanted to tell her that.

“The kids are lovely”, he just said, his hand absentmindedly coming up to press against the pink hair clip.

“Yeah, well, it’s one thing to think they’re cute and all and another to… you know.”

Ermal frowned, finally looking at her.

“What do you mean?”

Lisa scoffed, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“Oh please, you had to have realized that they’re a package deal.”

Ermal’s frown grew even deeper.

“I really have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Lisa huffed, clenching her teeth before turning away from him.

“I really shouldn’t tell you this, you know. But I just can’t watch this mess any longer.”

She took a deep breath and Ermal slowly felt like they were having two completely different conversations.

“There was this guy”, Lisa started, and he was surprised when he could her voice slightly shaking. “Matteo. He and Fabrizio had been friends for a few years, they first met each other during their training. They got along really well and then… Matteo had the idea with the truck, but all the details, the recipes? That was all Fabri.”

She stopped for a moment, licking her lips and Ermal had a bad feeling that he already knew in which direction this was going.

“It happened after only a year or so since they had started the business. Matteo took a bunch of recipes and most of the money and just… left.”

Lisa swallowed, her hands tightening around the wood of the counter.

“Fabri almost went bankrupt.”

“Geez.”

The word was only a whisper in the quiet truck after Lisa had finished her story, clearly fighting the emotions on her face.

“Yeah. And the timing sucked too, with the breakup and everything. Of course, Matteo knew about that… but it wasn’t like he cared.”

“Hmm”, Ermal hummed. This had to be before Fabrizio had met the children’s mother then and he had guessed Libero around ten, maybe a bit younger, so…

“So this must be, what. Ten or fifteen years ago? Pretty amazing, to open your own food truck basically right after training.”

Lisa blinked at him in confusion.

“What are you talking about? It’s only been like three or four years.”

“Oh.”

Ermal frowned. This didn’t make sense at all.

“So, I guess what I’m trying to tell you… give him some time okay? He might not tell you everything right now and he has his reasons for that but he’s really trying!”

She was looking at him pleadingly, so he started to nod slowly, but his brain was still hung up on that one bit of information.

“What break up?”

“Sorry?”

“You said something about Fabrizio breaking up with someone?”

Lisa looked at him a bit weirdly but then seemed to shrug.

“Yeah, he and Giada had just broken up when Matteo vanished. It was really a lot for him at that time.”

Ermal licked over too dry lips, unable to avert his gaze from Lisa’s face, trying to make sure he would notice every tiny reaction.

“Who’s Giada?”

Now Lisa’s eyes narrowed at him, her earlier relaxed posture tensing again.

“Didn’t you meet her earlier?”

Ermal swallowed.

“But she’s… the kids’ mother?”

“And?”

“They’re not together?”

“…Ermal Meta, tell me that you are not being serious!”

Lisa had now stepped away from him, her eyes wide open, staring at him as if he just told her he had murdered her cat.

“What, did you think he was just flirting with you for the fun? That he would do all… _that_ while he was in a relationship? He is not that kind of man and if you ever, even remotely thought he would be – “

“I’m sorry, okay?”, he interrupted her speech, but she was still glaring at him. “It’s just… I wasn’t sure…”

“Sure about what?”

“That he was… you know?”

He looked at her pleadingly, but Lisa only shook his head.

“Flirting with me”, he finished in a whisper.

“Oh Lord, give me strength.”

Ermal bit his lip.

“So he really was – “

“Oh, fuck yeah. Dude, if he would have been any more obvious, Mr Alberani would have asked you for a wedding invitation.”

Ermal choked on his laughter, staring at her in hopeful disbelief.

“That man is blind!”

She grinned back at him in delight.

“I know.”

He shook his head, watching as an elderly couple went past their truck with a huge dog on their heels, the bright afternoon sun making his fur shimmer.

He probably looked like a lunatic as he greeted them, unable to suppress the wide smile threatening to split the corners of his mouth.

It was only a bit later that Fabrizio returned, his face still lined with tenseness and now Ermal felt doubly bad about that. He didn’t even look at Ermal properly, so he couldn’t show him an apologetic smile, couldn’t ask for forgiveness with his eyes. And it hurt, he would never have thought that it would hurt like this.

So he did the first thing that came to his mind, when the older man was standing close to him, he reached out, gently pinching stomach, basically forcing the other man to look up, to look at him.

He did so with a frown on his face, but it smoothed out when Ermal tried to cautiously smile at him, even if maybe, it was a bit trembling.

“Hey, Bizio.”

The nickname felt unfamiliar but yet so right on his tongue and when finally, finally Fabrizio smiled at him again, he felt his breath coming easier.

He didn’t expect to be pulled into a sudden, tight hug, his head coming up to comfortably rest on the older man’s shoulder.

“You’re feeling better again?”

There was still a little wince of guilt at Fabrizio’s words, but Ermal tried to ignore it, nodding awkwardly with his chin still pressed tightly against that shoulder. Then a hand started to soothingly rub over his back before moving up, strong fingers massaging his neck.

And Ermal imagined if his hair wouldn’t have been tied up in a ponytail, how that hand would have been gently caressing his locks, playing with them, tugging at them, making him moan. He quickly tried to stop those thoughts, embarrassed at the turn they had taken, but then he remembered Lisa’s words. Tried to tell himself that it wasn’t all in his head.

So instead of severing their connection, he let himself relax in that embrace, his hand moving from Fabrizio’s stomach to his hip and Ermal could feel his fingers starting to tremble, nervously waiting for Fabrizio to slap his hand away, to look at him weirdly, to step out of the hug. But it seemed as if he only pulled him closer, if that was even possible, making Ermal’s stomach swoop. There was barely any space left between them, the wood of the counter pressing against Ermal’s back, reminding him that there was nowhere he could go. Not that he wanted to.

But then the warm hand on his neck was gone and for a second Ermal was worried that he had done something again, but when Fabrizio took a small step back, the intense look in his dark eyes made Ermal shiver.

They were still close, so close their noses almost touched and Ermal could feel Fabrizio’s hot breath caressing his skin.

It was as if, suddenly, there was a tension in the air that made Ermal’s body temperature rise, his breath speeding up and Fabrizio’s face was so close now, his lips looking so incredibly soft and Ermal just wanted –

“Excuse me?”

The voice shocked them both out of their trance and Ermal noticed only now that Lisa had apparently left the truck, but he didn’t have time to think about that when the elderly man used his white stick to lightly tap against the counter.

“Someone there?”

“Yes, sorry Mr Alberani! We’re here. What would you like to have today?”

“Oh, it’s you again. Good, Fabrizio is in a better mood when you’re around. Oh, and I would like a cup of carbonara today, thank you.”

Ermal had to suppress a smile at the words, chancing a look towards Fabrizio who was seemingly concentrating on working, a gentle red hue covering his cheeks.

“Okay, you can sit down, Mr Alberani, we’ll bring it to you when it’s ready.”

“Thank you, my dear boys.”

Then the elderly man turned around and carefully walked towards the tables lining the area in front of the truck, Ermal not taking his eyes off him until he had safely made it onto one of the chairs. A delicious smell turned his attention to their cooking space again, Fabrizio already waving the finished cup towards him.

“Here, can you bring it to him, please?”

Ermal nodded, taking the cup but before he could leave the truck, the older man grabbed him at the elbow, holding him back, his hand hot on Ermal’s bare skin.

“Oh and by the way? I loved you calling me by that nickname.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They both admit there are feelings more than friendship involved. So it should be smooth sailing from now on... right???

Fabrizio stared at the bubbling pot in front of him, frowning, a teaspoon in his hand. Something wasn’t quite right. He dipped the spoon into the dark red sauce again and blew on it, before licking a bit off.

Was it the salt?

Maybe too much or not enough, Fabrizio wasn’t sure. Hesitantly, he reached out towards the shaker. Well, he wouldn’t know if he didn’t try.

Just then, the truck door swung open as Ermal came back from his break, a cloud of stale smoke following him. When he noticed Fabrizio standing at the stove, a bright smile illuminated his face.

“Hey Bizio, are you done with the new recipe?”

The older man shrugged, setting the salt down again.

“I think so. But I’m not really happy with it.”

Ermal stepped closer, his hand casually settling on Fabrizio’s hip as he sidled close, sniffing at the pot.

“It already smells good.”

“I know, but the taste is just… off!”

Fabrizio realized that he sounded whiny, but he really was at the end of his patience by now. Then his breath stopped when Ermal leaned even closer, his tongue coming out to lick at the spoon, the red sauce quickly vanishing behind those delicious lips, there was a funny feeling spreading in Fabrizio’s stomach and he wanted to –

“Urgh, gross!”

Fabrizio choked out a laugh at the honest reply, Ermal’s face looking as if he had been personally offended.

“Why does it taste like that?”

“I don’t know!!! What do you think I’ve been trying to do for the last hour or so? Maybe it needs more salt…” Fabrizio grumbled, again taking the shaker in his hand, but it was grabbed by the younger man, who slowly took it away from him, looking at Fabrizio as if he was acting like a mad man.

“No more salt, definitely no more salt.”

Fabrizio huffed, leaning so that his back connected with Ermal’s arm, warmth spreading through him.

“Do you have any idea what’s missing then?”

Ermal inclined his head, staring at the pot as if deep in thought.

“Have you tried adding more paprika?”

The older man frowned, glancing at his row of spices.

“Isn’t it already enough? I’m worried that it will become too spicy if I add more.”

“Not if you use the mild one.”

Ermal grabbed for one of the boxes Fabrizio had only recently added, opening the lid and smelling at it, before adding a spoonful to the sauce and stirring.

“There, this should be better now.”

Suspiciously, Fabrizio tried it again, his frown turning into a smile when the taste exploded on his tongue.

“Damn, you were right.”

“Of course I was. You want to use this as a new pasta sauce?”

Fabrizio felt his cheeks starting to heat up.

“Kinda, yeah. Wait a minute.”

Reluctantly, he stepped away from the other man, Ermal’s hand falling down from his hip as Fabrizio started to prepare a small portion of pasta, taking out the other ingredient he had prepared in advance. He could hear Ermal make a curious sound behind him but tried to concentrate on his cooking. As soon as the pasta was done, he topped it off with the new sauce, adding the cold ingredient on top.

“Here”, he said, handing the cup over to Ermal, his heart beating painfully in his chest. “Tell me what you think.”

Without hesitation, Ermal took a large bite, pasta, sauce and marinated onions heaped on his fork and Fabrizio had to hide a smile at the eagerness of the young man. His nervousness ratcheted up again when Ermal started chewing, a thoughtful expression entering his face as he swallowed, an expression that Fabrizio couldn’t interpret, which only made his heartbeat quicken.

“And? How do you like it?”, he prodded when his impatience won over.

Ermal’s gaze was heavy as it landed on Fabrizio, his heart now beating faster for a different reason. Or maybe it was not for a different reason at all, not at the core, because Fabrizio knew, there was only one true reason why his heartbeat accelerated when Ermal looked at him, even though he still tried to deny it.

“It’s unusual.”

A shaky smile made Fabrizio’s lips twitch.

“Is that good or bad?”

“No, it’s good, very good. Just… not what one would expect from Italian pasta. What did you use for the onions? It tastes familiar.”

“Sumac. I saw it in a recipe book and thought I could give it a try.”

Ermal nodded, setting the cup down and taking a small step forward, causing Fabrizio’s breath to hitch as they were suddenly so close together.

“You know”, the younger man started saying, his voice deeper, quieter than usual, making a shiver run down Fabrizio’s spine. “It’s really cute that you tried out Albanian cooking. And it turned out surprisingly good.” Fabrizio could feel his cheeks starting to heat up, Ermal’s gaze fixed on him, never wavering. He tried to take a step backward but there wasn’t really any space to go and he cursed himself for not investing in a bigger truck.

“But I can’t help but wonder, why – “

Desperately, his hands grabbed Ermal’s arms, trying to keep some space between them.

“Ermal, I’m – “

“Hey, guys! Oh damn, did I interrupt something? Should I come back later?”

Fabrizio breathed a sigh of relief, even if he felt slightly guilty for the disappointed look in Ermal’s eyes.

“Nice try, Lisa. Get in here, your shift has already started, you’re late again!”

The young woman rolled her eyes at him, stashing her backpack in the little space behind the truck door and grabbing her apron.

“Five minutes. Not as if you were overrun by customers anyways.” She pointily looked at the empty space in front of their truck, grey clouds keeping even the most notorious pasta lovers away from the park.

“Anyhow, I just wanted to give you two some more alone time.”

“Gotta pee.”

The door shut with a bang behind Ermal, making Fabrizio groan and Lisa look at him with half-faked exasperation.

“How you two are not already down each other’s throat, I’ll never know.”

“Lisa!”

She cackled as she tied her long hair into a bun, but stopped when she noticed the look in Fabrizio’s eyes.

“Come on now, sourpuss, what is it? You two are obviously hot for each other and if I were into any of those icky feelings, I would even dare say the L-word. So tell me. What’s going on in that twisted brain of yours?”

He pointlessly glared at her before sighing, leaning against the counter, only now noticing the cold of the spring air.

“It’s not that easy”, he mumbled, avoiding her piercing gaze.

“It never is.”

He shrugged, unwilling to admit that she was probably right about that one.

“But Fabri… you can’t play him like this. If you don’t want a relationship with him, that’s fine even though it is highly stupid if you ask me, but if you don’t, you have to tell him. All this hot and cold you’re doing right now is only hurting him more.”

Fabrizio swallowed, tightening his grip around the wood of the counter.

“I don’t… _don’t_ want to have a relationship with him.”

“But?”

“But… what if… everything goes wrong again?”

“Tell me, when was the last time you had one of your angry fits?”

His head whipped around, staring at her, his heart beating a mile a minute. They didn’t usually talk about this, she knew how much he loathed himself for his outbursts, how he wished he had better control of himself, how –

“Come on, Fabri, focus. This isn’t a lecture. When?”

He licked over his too dry lips, his brow furrowing.

“I… I don’t know, maybe about two weeks ago or so?”

“That’s pretty good, isn’t it? Usually, they happen more often. Wonder what might have happened two weeks ago.”

Oh. Right. His stomach swooped.

“Okay, fine, but –“

“No, no but. I know this won’t just magically solve everything, but I don’t think you realize how much your mood has improved over the last days. And not only that. You’re finally inventing new recipes again and wasn’t that the whole reason you started this business in the first place? You two already work so well together, he’s even great with your kids and tell me, has he ever lied to you?”

Fabrizio fought against the smile that was threatening to appear on his face as he remembered all the grimaces the other man would make when Fabrizio’s experiments didn’t quite work out the way he wanted them to.

“I don’t think so, no.”

“He’s good for you. Just look at you, I don’t think you’ve stopped smiling since the first time he set foot in here.”

She exhaled with a grimace, Fabrizio didn’t think he had heard her talk about feelings in so many words since the day he met her.

“And if you worry about things going wrong… maybe they will. Maybe they won’t. You’ll never know if you don’t try and is that really the life you want to live? Don’t let Matteo take this away from you as well.”

Her words weighed heavy on him as he nodded, his teeth clenching. She made it sound so simple.

“Look”, Lisa started again with another sigh. “Do you trust me?”

Finally, an easy answer.

“You know that I do.”

“Good. Well, I trust Ermal.”

Fabrizio’s breath hitched as their eyes met, the implications hanging in the air between them. He had said the truth, he trusted Lisa, implicitly. She had been his first employee, her sassy remarks always making Matteo chuckle and Fabrizio groan during work. And when he had hit rock bottom, she was there for him, together with Giada and his family standing behind him, their relationship turning into something so much more than simply work. She became one of his closest friends and she never let him down.

Never.

Slowly, Fabrizio started to nod, a bright smile widening Lisa’s face when she noticed.

“Fine. I’ll think about it.”

“Good. I’m glad.”

She opened her mouth to say something else, but the screeching of the door opening cut her off as Ermal entered the truck, stopping in his tracks when he noticed the both of them standing there in silence.

“Am I interrupting something?”

Fabrizio bit his lip, he could feel Lisa’s eyes on him and he knew he needed to make up his mind now. She had been right, he couldn’t lead Ermal on like this any longer. He needed to be honest, even if it hurt because staying in this limbo would only hurt him more.

“Don’t be silly”, Lisa finally replied when Fabrizio failed to say anything, “Come on in. Did you have a nice time at the concert yesterday?”

“Hmm? Oh yeah, it was great, Marco managed to rope the band’s guitarist into talking with us, so we got to ask him a whole bunch of questions and stuff, it was really interesting and – “

Fabrizio watched as Ermal continued to chat with Lisa, a bright smile on his face, the tenseness that had twisted it earlier completely forgotten. There was a light in his eyes as he talked about music, a passion in the way he gesticulated wildly with his hands.

He was adorable. Fuck.

“Sounds like you really had a good time”, Fabrizio interrupted a lull in their conversation, unable to resist the urge any longer to have the attention of the other man on him. Lisa shot him a warning glance, before turning away, pulling her phone out of her pocket. 

“Yeah, I had”, Ermal answered, his smile slightly dimmed, more serene. “You should come with us next time.”

Fabrizio swallowed. Make up your goddamn mind, you coward; is what he would have liked to scream at himself, his fingers nervously beating an unknown rhythm against the counter.

“I would love to.”

The words left his mouth almost of their own accord and he could feel Lisa’s judging gaze on him but right now he didn’t care. He waited for the smile on Ermal’s face to brighten up like a sun that would finally appear from behind a grey cloud, but instead, it only grew darker, the edges tainted with bitterness.

“Sure, I’ll let you know when the next one is.”

Fabrizio swallowed, it was obvious that the younger man didn’t believe his words, that he tried his best not to get his hopes up, just in case. And Fabrizio couldn’t even blame him.

“Erm – “

“Hello, boys!”

“Oh, hello Mr. Alberani!”

Fabrizio groaned on the inside. The man seemed to have developed impeccable timing recently. A cheerful bark made him look down and it was only then that he had realized that the elderly man had visited them the last few days all alone.

“Is Nero feeling better now?”, Ermal asked, making Fabrizio frown. He hadn’t even known the dog’s name or that he had been unwell.

“Yes, his stomach is all better, he’s already trying to eat me out of house and home again. Will you make me a cup of Cacio e Pepe, my boy? I’ve been craving that since this morning.”

Ermal chuckled while taking the counted-out money from veiny, old hands.

“Sure, Mr. Alberani. You go sit down, I’ll be with you in a minute.”

The old man made his way across the area while Fabrizio started to prepare the pasta, his eyes not leaving Ermal, even when he stood at the stove.

“What?”, the younger man asked finally, a shy smile tugging at his lips. Fabrizio shrugged.

“Just… you’re really good with our customers... all of them.”

“Thank you.”

“I mean… they’re really gonna miss you, you know, when… when you’ll stop coming.”

His heart in his throat, Fabrizio bit his lip. He couldn’t avert his eyes from Ermal, tried to read the expression on his face.

Tried to see if he understood the hidden meaning behind those words. That Fabrizio hadn’t been talking about their customers at all.

But Ermal didn’t react, patiently waiting for Fabrizio to finish the dish, his face a mask of blankness. It was only after Lisa had left to give Mr Alberani his pasta, that Ermal started speaking.

“I’m sure they’ll get used to it”, he said with an eerily even voice. “Just give them a bit more time and they’ll forget I was even here.”

It was the sadness in his eyes that told Fabrizio that Ermal hadn’t been talking about their customers either.

He took a shuddering breath.

Now or never.

He didn’t know that making up one’s mind could be so easy.

“I won’t.”

His breath stopped as Ermal’s eyes widened, his fingers nervously trembling. It felt like an eternity until the other man finally reacted, his tongue coming out to nervously lick over his lips.

“I guess I could stop by from time to time then.”

Fabrizio grinned, the hopefulness in the other man’s voice calming something inside of him, their knees gently bumping against each other as he moved.

“How about every day?”

* * *

Ermal felt a bit as if he was walking on clouds as he slowly strolled through the park towards the truck. Ever since their exchange yesterday, this feeling hadn’t stopped and there was no denying it any longer.

He was in love and fucking happy.

Finally, he and Fabrizio seemed to be on the same page and Ermal couldn’t wait to spend the morning all alone with the other man, couldn’t wait to find out how much exactly their relationship had changed.

The butterflies in his stomach were starting to act up again as soon as the truck came into sight, the shutters still closed, as they would only open their business around eleven. He rounded the vehicle, contemplating whether he should have a smoke before starting his shift, but decided against it. And the reason for that was definitely not that he could see his Bizio a few minutes earlier, oh no Sir.

However, he was surprised when he tried the door and found it still locked, causing a frown to mar his face. Fabrizio was supposed to be here already, it was unusual for the other man not to be on time. But maybe he had just overslept a little and would turn up any minute now.

Ermal busied his hands and his mind with rolling a cigarette, a bit shakily lightening it when he was done and Fabrizio still wasn’t there. He took a consciously slow drag, fiddling with his phone.

Should he call him? But maybe if he waited just five more minutes…

Instead, he opened his messenger, staring at his latest conversations. Of course, Marco was at the top, his brother right after that. He knew they would both not be awake now and even if Rinald was awake, he probably wouldn’t receive an answer before noon. The next name on the list was Lisa’s which made him feel all kinds of soft and he was just about to write her a message when his gaze fell on the name below her.

Right, he could check in with his old colleagues, see how they were getting along without him. Maybe now he could ask about his replacement without sounding bitter. And he was pretty sure Matt would already be awake, the guy had always been an early riser at the restaurant, preferring to do his preparations when most of the cooks weren’t in yet and it wasn’t so crowded.

He quickly shot him a message, his cigarette already burned down to merely a stump when he finished, but there was still no sign of Fabrizio.

Right.

Ermal stared at the number on his screen for a moment before pressing the green button, turning around to look over the park while waiting for Fabrizio to finally pick up. His. Goddamn. Phone.

With a curse he hung up as the mechanic voice of the answering machine sounded in his ears, a bad feeling starting to manifest in his stomach.

What if Fabrizio didn’t show up? Ermal didn’t have a key for the truck, what was he supposed to do then? He guessed he could ask Lisa, surely she had a spare one, but chances were she was still at university and that wasn’t really helpful at all to his situation. He could feel the panic rising within him, his thoughts a chaotic mess.

What if –

Before his mind could go down that dark road any further, he noticed a familiar figure walking down the path towards the truck, a smile starting to tug at his lips. It was only when that figure came closer that Ermal realized it wasn’t, in fact, one figure, but two, Fabrizio cradling his daughter close to his chest, a tense expression on his face.

“Bizio, is everything alright?”

“Oh god, you’re here already. I’m so sorry for making you wait, give me a second, I’ll open…”

Fabrizio rummaged around in his bag, which looked to be quite logistically challenging with a clingy five-year-old on his arm.

“Should I take her for a moment?”

Fabrizio bit his lip.

“We can try. Ani, sweetheart, come on.”

The dark hair laying against Fabrizio’s chest moved, eyes that seemed even bigger than usual stared at Ermal, immediately softening his heart.

“You remember Ermal?”

The girl nodded meekly, so unlike her personality when Ermal first met her.

“You wanna let him hold you for a moment? Daddy needs to get something from his bag.”

She seemed to contemplate this for a minute, before nodding again quickly, Fabrizio sighing in relief as he handed her over to the younger man.

Her small body was warm against Ermal’s, her breath seeming to come too shallow. Alarmed, he looked over at Fabrizio, the other man shaking his head.

“It’s nothing serious or contagious, she’ll be fine in a few days. But the kindergarten told me they couldn’t take care of her like this and Giada is busy, my parents are on vacation, her parents can’t get to Rome on such a short notice and I – “

His voice had become more and more desperate, Ermal feeling for the other man. He carefully detangled one of his hands, wanting to grab the other man’s wrist in a reassuring gesture but at that moment, Fabrizio moved his arm and somehow, he ended up grabbing his hand instead.

Surprised, he stared at their hands, his heart beating violently in his chest, his mouth suddenly dry. Oh no. He hadn’t meant to. What if this was too fast? Too awkward? Maybe, if he just carefully let go again he could pretend it didn’t happen.

But he couldn’t because Fabrizio’s fingers were already tightening around his own, returning the touch, the butterflies in Ermal’s stomach going crazy. He hadn’t expected Fabrizio returning his grip so strongly, it was as if the other man needed something to hold onto.

“Don’t worry about it”, Ermal murmured, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on Fabrizio’s inked skin or at least he hoped they were.

“We can take care of her inside the truck and by the time it gets busy, Lisa will be here as well.”

Ermal’s heart fell when Fabrizio started shaking his head, but then he noticed the cautious smile on the older man’s face.

“That won’t be necessary, only for an hour or so. I called Claudio earlier and he will take care of her during the time I have to work.”

He bit his lip, looking at Ermal from underneath his eyelashes.

“But thank you.”

Then he took a step forward, his hot lips pressing against Ermal’s cheek, just shy of the corner of his mouth and after an eternity that felt like mere seconds, the touch was gone, Fabrizio bending down to kiss his daughter’s head who seemed to have fallen asleep against the younger man, his hair tickling the sensitive skin of Ermal’s face.

Ermal was scared the stories about spontaneous combustion might be true after all.

After Fabrizio opened the truck, they readied a short bench for Anita to rest on but she didn’t seem to be very happy with it, always looking at Ermal with her big brown eyes pleadingly, tugging the knitted blanket tighter around herself.

“Ermal, you can’t possibly hold her for an hour, that’s silly!”

Ermal glared at Fabrizio, holding the little girl tighter, who had slung her arms around his neck, staring at her papà accusingly.

“Don’t worry about us, just start working.”

Fabrizio rolled his eyes but there was a reluctant smile on his face.

“Fine! Seriously, you two are unfair.”

He started prepping the dough for the pasta, Ermal stepping closer so that Anita could see her father better.

“What’s papà doing now?”

“He’s making pasta. He has to make lots and lots of pasta because a lot of people will come that are really hungry. And – hey!”

Ermal glared at a chuckling Fabrizio, his nose white like snow, the flour tickling in his nostrils. He would be probably mad at the other man, or at least try to be for a minute or so, if it weren’t for the heavenly sound of Anita’s laughter ringing through the truck. Momentarily forgetting her sickness, she reached out, rubbing over his nose, making him go crossed-eye, her giggling only increasing with his antics.

After a while, she calmed down again, leaning her head against his shoulder as they watched her father quietly work in the truck, Ermal swaying his hips and humming, only stopping when she asked him questions or explaining to her what her father was doing at the moment.

He hadn’t even realized how time had passed by when there was suddenly a knock on the door, which then opened and revealed a man around Fabrizio’s age with a round face and a bandage around his right hand. Ermal vaguely remembered him from when he had first discovered this food truck, something that seemed to be so much longer ago than only a few short weeks.

“Oh, hey Claudio”, Fabrizio greeted the man, his gaze immediately focusing on the obviously injured hand. “How are you doing?”

The other man grimaced, flexing his hand, but then shrugged, a sheepish expression entering his face.

“Better now, sorry to have left you hanging like that. But I’m glad to hear that you got a replacement!”

“Yeah, this is Ermal.”

Claudio took a step closer, inside the dimly lit truck, a gentle smile on his face as he first greeted Anita, who was still sluggishly leaning against Ermal but she managed a soft smile as Claudio’s hand caressed her face.

Then the man looked up, his hand stretched out, Ermal awkwardly grabbing it, juggling Anita around on his arms.

“Nice to meet you!”

“Nice to meet you, too.”

The smile on the other man’s face suddenly froze, the grip on his hand tightening.

“Wait, I know you.”

“Yeah, I’ve bought pasta here when – “

“No, no. I know you as a cook. Did we meet before?”

Ermal frowned, trying to rack his brain, but coming up with nothing.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I – “

Then Claudio stopped speaking, just staring at Ermal for a moment.

“Fabri, I need to talk to you.”

The older man shrugged, cleaning his hands from the flour.

“Okay?”

“No”, Claudio said, his gaze still fixed on Ermal. “Not here. Let’s go outside.”

Fabrizio arched his eyebrows but followed Claudio outside, his hand coming up to gently stroke over Anita’s head as he passed them by, a gentle smile the last thing Ermal saw of the other man before the door fell into its lock, leaving him and Anita alone in the truck.

He was just about to ask her if she wanted to lie down for a little bit so he could maybe continue with the preparations, when she moved, trying to straighten herself on his arm, her tiny hands pressing against Ermal’s shoulders to keep herself upright.

“Say, Ermal?”, she asked him sweetly and Ermal was unable not to smile at her.

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Do you like papà?”

Uh oh. Ermal swallowed, unsure how to respond to that, unsure how Fabrizio would feel about this. About him.

But this wasn’t about how Fabrizio felt, he realized.

“I do. I like him… a lot.”

Ermal’s heart was in his throat as the words left his mouth. It was the first time, after all, the first time he put his feelings into words and somehow, this made them even more real. Stronger.

Anita looked at him seriously, before nodding once, her strength apparently leaving her again as she let herself fall against him, cuddling into his shoulder, her hair tickling his neck.

“Good”, she mumbled, sleepily. “Cause mamma said he likes you, too.”

Ermal was pretty sure this irregular heartbeat couldn’t be healthy and if he died of a heart attack at this young age, it was entirely the Mobrici’s fault.

He couldn’t resist bending his head to lightly kiss her hair, her even breaths indicating that she had already fallen asleep again. He smiled to himself, tugging the blanket around her shoulders, his head twitching up when the door was pulled open forcefully, hitting the truck with a bang.

“What the – “

Fabrizio entered the truck with a thunderous expression that only evened out when he took Anita from Ermal, the little girl blinking at him in confusion.

“Sorry honey, you have to stay with Uncle Claudio for a bit.”

He smiled at her, the corners of his mouth twitching.

“We’ll be right back, okay?”

She nodded, Fabrizio bending down to pull a ratty teddy bear out of his bag and giving it to her, Anita immediately hugging it tightly to her chest.

The older man exchanged one last look with Claudio before grabbing Ermal’s arm and pulling him out of the truck, his fingers biting into Ermal’s skin. He didn’t stop until they were a good way away from the truck, the vehicle barely visible through the tall bushes surrounding them.

“Bizio, what is going – “

“Tell me it’s not true.”

Fabrizio had turned towards him now, an unreadable expression on his face. Desperate, Ermal threw his hands in the air.

“What is? Bizio, talk to me, I want to know what is going on!”

“Is it true that you work at the Garibaldi?”

Ermal sighed, crossing his arms in front of his chest. The Garibaldi was one of the most famous restaurants in Rome, one of the most recommended. He knew he couldn’t have kept it a secret forever, that it would have come out one way or the other. Still, this shouldn’t change anything between them.

“And what if?”

“So it’s true?”

“Yeah, but what – “

“Fuck, I’m so stupid.”

Unbelieving, Ermal blinked at the picture in front of him, his own breath hitching when he saw Fabrizio, his strongminded, stubborn Fabrizio fighting with the tears, a fight that he seemed to be losing when the first found their path down his cheeks.

“Did he send you?”

Ermal tried to swallow his own emotions, trying not to let the accusation in that voice that was normally so gentle and warm, get to him.

“Bizio, I swear to god, I have no idea what you are talking about.”

Fabrizio blinked at him, apparently stunned, his tongue coming out to lick over his lips, wiping away a single tear that had found its way to that place. How Ermal wished he would be in any position to kiss it away.

“But…”, he started, his voice cracking. “You know him. Every time I told you about… and you knew him all along.”

“Who, Bizio?”

“Matteo.”

Ermal stared at him for a moment, his brain trying to catch up on that information, trying to make some sense of it. Without much success.

“What? How?”

“Matteo works at the Garibaldi, Claudio went there when we still tried to settle everything out of court. And that’s probably when he met you too.”

Ermal still didn’t move, only able to watch as Fabrizio sniffled, trying to inconspicuously wipe his cheeks dry.

“You can’t tell me you don’t know him, Ermal.”

“But…”

He frowned, the new information slowly detangling, registering in his brain and followed by a bad feeling in his stomach when everything finally connected.

“Matt?”

“So you do know him after all, huh? Great.”

Fabrizio huffed, glaring at him with a broken gaze, the tracks that had just dried starting to become wet again.

“Were the recipes not enough? Did he need more? He’d never had any ideas, you know, never, that was all me, only me!”

His voice was a hoarse scream on the last words and if Ermal wouldn’t have known that even now Bizio would never hurt him, he might even be scared at the way the other man held himself, his hands balled into angry fists.

And Ermal just stood there, speechless, wondering how he could make this right again.

“Was all of this your plan? Even – “

Fabrizio cut himself off, taking a step back, swallowing. Immediately he seemed smaller, much less intimidating.

“Even me… falling for you?”

“Bizio.”

Ermal swallowed, his heart in his throat. In all his wildest daydreams, he never imagined hearing the words like this, never imagined seeing Fabrizio cry like this because of him.

“Don’t call me that!”

The older man turned his face away, biting his lip.

“I need you to get out.”

Ermal felt like the world just stopped spinning for a moment, just for the blink of an eye before taking its speed up again but leaving him behind, stumbling and untethered. His heart was racing and not the good kind of racing it normally did when he was close to Fabrizio. He felt the panic rising within him, his mouth turning dry and he still didn’t quite know how everything went so out of control.

But one thing was for certain, this was the end.

“Just leave already.”

The words felt piercing, leaving open, jagged wounds in his chest. He never imagined it like this. Never. Never, never, no. No, no,

“No.”

Fabri scoffed, glaring at him angrily.

“What do you still want? There’s nothing I could give you, you already know all my recipes, I – “

“Fuck the recipes.”

Ermal licked over his lips, surprised at his own words, the myriad of emotions leaving him shaking.

Fabrizio stared at him for a moment, his posture still tense but there was something in his eyes that eerily reminded Ermal of hope.

“There’s only one thing I want”, Ermal continued, his voice trembling. “And it’s definitely not the recipes.”

Fabrizio took a shuddering breath, avoiding Ermal’s gaze.

“Don’t be stupid, just tell me already what you want.”

 “I want you to trust me!”

“Shit.”

He suddenly grabbed Ermal’s neck, but contrary to his words, his fingers were gentle, rubbing small circles into Ermal’s nape. He could see Fabri gulp, his eyes so broken and sad.

“You have no idea how bad I want to.”

A shiver ran down Ermal’s spine at the vulnerability in his words. He dared to take a step closer and when Fabrizio didn’t pull away, he took another, until they were standing so close that they were breathing the same air. Fabrizio’s eyes found his and Ermal wondered how anyone could find it in himself to hurt this lovely soul.

“Then do it”, he finally whispered, leaning their foreheads against each other. He raised his hand, his fingers gently caressing Fabrizio’s skin, the stubble rough underneath his fingertips. A shuddering breath left the older man’s lips, ghosting over Ermal’s.

The subtle nod was almost imperceptible, surely to be missed if they weren’t standing so close to each other. A hesitant smile appeared on Ermal’s face, his grip on Fabrizio’s shirt tightening.

“Yeah?”

This time the nod was stronger, an answering smile tugging at Fabrizio’s lips, a smile that Ermal couldn’t resist any longer.

He tilted his head, slightly bending down until he found those soft lips pressing against his own in a chaste kiss that was enough to cause a storm of butterflies in his stomach, as cliched as that might sound.

Then he moved his hand that was still cupping Fabrizio’s cheek, lightly stroking over his neck, where his fingers found that soft hair and he couldn’t resist burying his hand in there, eliciting a groan from Fabrizio, a groan that went through his whole body and left him trembling and wanting more, so much more.  

But he didn’t know if he should, if he was allowed.

Then calloused hands were grabbing at his arms, pulling him closer, their kiss becoming more his arms letting him breathe again.

And he realized something scary.

He didn’t want to live without this ever again.

But in his chest, there was also the beating hope, fueled by Fabrizio’s hands on his face, that he wouldn’t have to.

**Author's Note:**

> I do hope you enjoyed yourself and please please please leave kudos or a comment if you did!


End file.
